What are we doing - really? We fill up our lives with the most mundane things and act like they are important. You know what I did over the weekend? Yard work and maintenance. I cleaned the gutters, got up on the roof and removed branches from our dying, scary tree that fell on our outdated roof, cut grass, and cut up wood.
That is just an example from ONE day in my life. How many of those things are really important?
We only have a limited number of days in our lifetime. The chief part of our minds are devoted toward dreams (important and not-so-important), finding love, and stressing out over societal expectations. It is all so useless.
Here are just some of the dreams that I have:
1. I want to start a ministry that actually helps people in this world and helps them prepare for their spiritual destination.
2. I want to be published and be able to finally cross over the line of being a blog owner who routinely is read by a couple dozen people to someone who many would recognize as having something useful to say - something that is relavent to #1 above or at least a distraction from the stressors of life.
3. I want to routinely hear the voice of God and be where and what He would have me be so I could have some meaningful use in life.
I am not close enough to ANY of these dreams. I'm not, because for some reason, the grass can't wait another day, or I can't cough up the energy or resources to do them. The ministry? A few years ago, I thought I was getting there. A couple of setbacks and the obligatory excuses and now I seldom even think about it.
What about being published. I can't. My job is too time consuming or my family is too demanding or maybe, just maybe, I can't maintain the confidence to push things aside enough to follow through with it - not yet, anyway.
The voice of God eludes me, too. However, if I am not careful, He will get a few words in. He has before. No, I REALLY don't want to hear Him, do I? Why have the responsibility? Not when there are holes to fill in the back yard or a garage that needs cleaning - you know, the list of things you think about on your death bed with a smile knowing that it was life well-lived.
So I run and worry. I worry that I won't sell my house or about my family's health. I stress over the fact that I have four automibles but none of them have my confidence to take a two-hour road trip or I fret over the fact that I have to report to jury duty at the end of the week, or about my meetings at work next week.
Today is Monday May 7, 2007 and I am no closer to my life's goals as I was yesterday or last year. How was your Monday?