Saturday, April 10, 2010

TOP TEN REASONS THAT JESUS HATES HEALTH CARE REFORM!

I have noticed that most of my Christian friends are up in arms over the health care reform that was just signed into law by the president. It dawned on me that perhaps Jesus hates health care reform. However, I couldn't figure out why. So, I wracked my brains and came up with following list (with apologies to David Letterman) - the TOP TEN REASONS THAT JESUS HATES HEALTH CARE REFORM!

10. The unwelcome competition for healing.

9. Concerned that the number of prayers from the desperately infirmed will take a hit.

8. Doesn't want to upset His base.

7. Afraid that His own "Millstone" clause will have to be amended to include little ones up to age twenty-six (Luke 17:2).

6. Doesn't want Democrats to take credit for His "love thy neighbor" policy.

5. Fox News told Him to.

4. Likes to be exclusive when it comes to pardoning pre-existing conditions.

3. What's next, feed the hungry?

2. Afraid that the expense of it will cut into His Armageddon War Chest!

And the number one reason Jesus hates the new health care reform . . .

1. It's not clear, but He is sure it has SOMETHING to do with abortion.

3 comments:

Murr Brewster said...

#11: He thought there was a comma in "Suffer, the little children."

Jeff said...

Excellent! Thanks for dropping by and giving me a smile!

Meg said...

"Fox News told Him to" -- haha. That's perfect.