Can't Stand Prosperity

We are due, aren't we? It is time for another episode of "As the Stomach Turns", aka "How is married life treatin' ya?" The writers of this episode have been and is continuing to pound the same theme, which is that the wife cannot stand prosperity.

Sunday was a great day for us. We went to church, went out for lunch, watched a movie and felt extremely loving and close to each other. Monday morning rolls around and she things are still very sweet. THIS, is marrital prosperity, my friends.

Then, it happened. I am sitting at work starting my work week when I get a call from the spouse (she always calls me when she is on her way to work). Right off the bat, she brings up a controversial topic. WHY?!?!?! This topic is, of course - for those of you keeping score at home, is my snoring. She starts the conversation by asking this question, "Are you going to go the doctor about your snoring?" Not a good topic, not a good way to introduce it.

First of all, I hate to go to the doctor. Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking, blah blah blah. Whether or not I SHOULD hate to go to the doctor is beside the point. The point is that I do and she knows it.

Secondly, it is a mistake - I don't care how you slice it, to bring up a controversial topic when a) one or both partners is at work - especially on a Monday morning; and b) bringing up a controversial subject right in the height of marrital bliss. To violate these principles of common sense is just sheer idiocy.

Even so, she still might have been able to get away with it if she would have approached it differently. She could have said, "Sweetheart, I love feeling close to you and I hate it when we can't sleep in the same bed for me to be able to sleep. Do you think we can work on this problem again?" But no, it is, "Are YOU going to go to the doctor," which I read, "Are YOU going to do something like wear uncomfortable headgear, or better yet, go under the knife so I can sleep and still keep tabs on you during the night?"

I have to tell you; I got grumpy immediately. We haven't been to keen on each other since. I am willing to apologize for perhaps overreacting (I didn't yell or cuss or anything, however), but track record has already proven that this topic in this fashion is on a collision course with disaster.

Stay tuned and you will hear the husband say, "I still think you gave up too quickly on those ear plugs."


Anonymous said...

oh boy... well.. until a doctor says they can't do anything about it your, ummm argement over it will continue.

you are both getting an F on the report card..
see.. you expect her to accept it.. and she expects you to make her happy and fix it.

both are expecting something and nothing is happening.

so... we will await the next chapter on this...

Anonymous said...

Sorry, dude... I'm gonna have to second deslily.

And the fact is that the snoring could be a symptom of something much more dangerous. Until you get it checked out, you can expect to have this fight over and over again.

The timing was unfortunate, however.

Nikki said...

I totally understand where you're coming from.

I snore terribly.

I sleep in the recliner a lot...and sometime Charles will sleep in the guest room.

I tried those nose strips...went to the dr and everything.

I only have found one cure....losing weight.

When I'm under a certain weight, I don't snore.

...but I have to second both the folks up top.

Good luck

Anonymous said...

Okay, I wasn't going to defend myself, but I since a wave here. :)
First of all, nearly one half of adults snore so to think there is a good chance that there is something wrong is not found.

Secondly, about my "F". I don't expect her to accept it. However, I do expect her to take some ownership. Afterall, it is our problem. Neither one of us had a problem with sleep until we got married. In addition, I have done all sorts of things to help. I have tried every product on the market. I have been dieting (have lost about 20 lbs) and last night I bought a white noise machine on Amazon. I am doing a ton.

My wife, however, wore ear plugs TWICE and said that they were uncomfortable.

Now that I indulged myself in this silly defense, I am hoping the sleep machine + the weight loss will make a big difference.

Sayre said...

And it probably will. I was speaking from experience though, and when people are getting complaints about snoring, a red flag goes up in my head. See, my dad almost died from snoring. Severe sleep apnea. His blood oxygen was so low he was in danger of not waking up. I snore too, and I got the pulse/ox test, which came back okay. So I just have to lose weight and sleep slightly propped up, which seems to help a little.

Still, I wouldn't recommend your wife look for work as a diplomat anytime soon....

Anonymous said...

I've been follow your marriage saga for a while --

I say make love to her. Everytime she gets snippy like that, take her into the bedroom, romance her, get your rocks off and be done with it. Make sure she's getting some too.

Lots of sex, that I say.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous: Cool, I get feedback from anonymous. This is my first. Do you suggest phone sex? Because that is what it would have been this time. Problem is that she may have wrecked her car (she has manual transmission) and I could have lost my job if someone walked in on that show! ;)