Friday, September 28, 2007

A Tale of Two Hairdos, Part I.

In my absence of blog participation, I did have a little experience concerning hair - both mine and my wife's. I am not sure the best way to describe this, so I will go in chronological order.

MY HAIR

I have had basically the same hairstyle for years. I am a guy and really there isn't a whole lot of choices. I mean, as I get older, the hair is getting a little thinner. This bird's losing feathers every day. So, why should I spend a whole lot of time being too concerned about hairstyle? It just isn't a guy thing - or at least the kind of guy I want to be. ;)

Don't get me wrong; I'm far from bald - not that there is anything wrong with it. I mean, there better not be because I am afraid it is in my future. I have a nice, rich brown hair that is pretty thick on the sides and in the back but it seems that I am growing taller in the middle - not my hair, me! It looks like I am growing up through my hair like a mountain through the clouds. All this means, is that I should just do what I can, avoid the dreaded comb-over, and just enjoy my hair while I have it.

Good plan? Nope, not according to my wife. She wants me to put "stuff" in my hair, "style" it with my hands, and get that "younger" look.
Let's look at these words in quotes one at a time. STUFF - this is some hideous stuff that comes from a jar. I don't know what it is called, but it would be cheaper if I just followed around people with colds and caught their sneezes in this jar, because that is what it looks and feels like (minus the chunks, I guess). However, before I can use this "stuff", I must first put "leave-in" conditioner in my hair. Okay, whatever.

Now for the next word: STYLE - this is really bad nomenclature because her idea of "style" for me, is really what I consider to be "anti-style". I must pull my slimey hair up in all directions so it looks like I just got out of bed - but I guess this bed is more like a bed of lettice with creamy italian dressing already applied. So, I tell my wife, "It looks like bed head when I do that!" She replies, "I think you are sexy in the mornings. Trust me, it is a legitimate hairstyle, and it looks good on you." Okay, whatever.

The final word: YOUNGER - okay so this one is self-explanatory, and I guess I can buy that I look younger when my hair is like this. Why? Because only young'ns with "greasy kid stuff" use that junk in their hair, except for the occasional mob bosses that do the slimey comb-back thing. Plus, only kids leave the house combless, straight from bed. So there you have it!

It is important to my wife that I look younger because of our age difference. I don't mind looking younger myself if I could, but I am not sure this is the best way to go about it.

You want to see a picture? LOL, not on your life. It is bad enough that I have to try to command a little more respect around the office with my new hair-don't. I don't need to spread that kind of mess into the blogosphere on top of it.

So why do I do it? Let's face it, with my marriage, I have to pick my battles. My wife is the one that has to look at my hair. I avoid mirrors like the plague. If it makes her happy,- if anything can, I can do my part.

Next time, my wife's tale of the hair. Stay tuned.

12 comments:

Random Magus said...

Give it a shot, who knows you might like it. And if you don't you can say that you tried :)

kristen said...

Next she'll want highlights.

I think the 'messed up' look can look great on some guys. Others really just shouldn't try it. I'm sure yours looks great though! Oh, the things one does for the spouse.

Sayre said...

Okay - I have to make a confession. Ever since I got my perm (because I had flat, straight hair that looked horrible), I comb my hair after I wash it. that's it. I don't carry a brush and if I slept on it, I don't brush it. I hate messing with my hair, so this "do" is perfect for me.

My brothers are losing their hair. One just gave up and shaved it all off. Another spikes it up with "stuff". Yet another tries other distractions like piercing things or getting tattoos. One has a military cut and then there's the one brother with wonderful hair that every woman wants. There's one in every crowd.

HollyGL said...

Hey, if your wife thinks its "sexy", and you don't feel too uncomfortable with it, go for it! ...and, as far as the comb-over, I'm thinking all over bald would be a much better look. I'm serious! :)

HoosierGirl5 said...

Okay, this is just my opinion, but I think your wife should like the way you look just the way you are....I personally think men who are older than I am are sexy. I don't want them to look "younger", I want them to look older!!

I know you have to pick your battles, but do your hair the way YOU want!

J.

Jeff said...

Random: Oh, I am trying it. Small price to pay for any kind of benefit.

Kristen: Hopefully, it looks good on me compared to not. She likes it and I guess that is all that matters.

Sayre: I am sure your hair works for you and you like what you are doing with it. I am not sure I like mine, but whatever. So you have inconsistent hair heredity? Me too.

Jeff said...

Steph: I agree, I am going for it. Hey, I am with you. I would go completely shaven if the alternative is the comb-over. I just can't do it.

Hoosiergirl: Yep, women have their preferences. This isn't so bad. Sometimes I don't do it, but if I am doing something with her or whatever, I am in the "do".

Anne said...

Aww, what a cute baby Jeff! :> Bald guys are SOO cute. Shave it alll off, baby! It's amazingly erotic, so the wife would be pleased, methinks.

Anne said...

Garrr.... That last one was me. Silly blogger....

chosha said...

Oh Jeff...it's not like she asked you to bungie jump. :) At least this is one style an older guy can wear without looking silly. Unlike ponytails.

Key to adding product: less is more! Start with an amount about the size of your pinky fingernail and work it through with your fingers.

Michelle said...

I rather like the "spikey" look. :-)

Jeff said...

Anne: Good to see you. I will take your view under advisement, but I do want to do more than play Monopoly so I don't know how much weight I should give it. ;)

Chosha: Thanks for the product advise. I still don't like it, though. After all, the devil wears product.

Michelle: Evidently, so does my wife.