Monday, July 23, 2007

NEWSFLASH #8



NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:


News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.

___________________________________________________________________
NEWS - The Democratic candidates for president are going after the faithful for support in the coming campaign. Many of hired strategists to target Christian groups so the the candidates can appear more faith friendly. I am getting this information at CNN.com. Right after the article introduces this concept, there comes a quote from a Democratic stratigist, "It has to be authentic. This is not about Jesus-ing up the party, so to speak ... It just won't work if it's seen as a cynical ploy." Excuse me, but just the fact that they are hiring faith-seeking strategist for their campaigns kind of defeats the "avoiding a cynical ploy" approach, doesn't it? If a candidate has a strong faith, then let it shine from his/her own presence. I don't find it to be too necessary to hire a staffperson to strategize how to remove the candle from under the bushel basket and place it on a candlestick(see: Matt 5:15). If one is faithful, it will show.
ENTERTAINMENT - I was sad to learn of the passing of Tammy Faye (Bakker) Mesner. She was quite an interesting lady and had a big heart. She was quite a character. If one could get past her makeup, which looks like it was applied with a putty knife, one would find an overcomer that flourished despite the trials she endured, including the last one - her cancer. I began to appreciate her when she was on a season of the reality show, Surreal Life. She held on to her faith while showing love and tolerance to those whose lifestyles come CROSSwise to her conservative Christian faith. Tammy Faye - the world's loss is God's gain.
WORK - this is the big week of the summer for my job. I serve a commission and the July meeting this week will provide new commissioners and officers. That means a new "boss" for me. Impressions will be magnified so I will have to rise above all my personal baggage and let my professionalism rise to the top. It is a good thing that I have plenty of practice in this area.
SPIRIT - It is well with my soul. Even though I feel that I am on a train speeding out of control on a mountain track, I still have peace that I am in good hands. I understand that when this train finally comes to a stop and I get off and look around, I will see the beauty of my surroundings in such a way that I haven't been able to see them before. Plus, I will no longer have the same kind of fear of trains.
FAMILY - My family reununion was Saturday. It was okay, but it isn't the same without my grandmother who was the glue of the family. She passed away about six years ago, and we have only had a couple of get togethers since, as compared to the annual blowout we had when she was alive. Saturday's was a low-key affair where factions of the family stayed together and the puzzled looks on most everyone's face revealed that there were more strangers than "family" in attendance. Of course, my wife couldn't make it. She has been sick so I was very understanding.
LOVE - My marriage, unfortunately, is hanging on by a thread - a frazzled one at that. It is a shame, really. I honestly feel that I have done everything I could do to hold it together. I gave up friendships, took on all the financial responsibilities because she couldn't "handle" her job anymore, I spent the last two weeks being a full-time nurse, housekeeper, gardener, and chauffer. However, I alone cannot fill a love built for two.
ANXIETY - I get a little anxious thinking about all this marriage stuff and realizing that I have a lot of responsibility in the failure. My relationships have been a series of breakdowns, infidelities, and failures. Although, from my perspective, I have never been the culprit, the cheat, or the "I just don't love you, anymore" person, it is naive of me to think that I have just been unlucky. If my marriage failure was merely an isolated incident, than I could try to pick myself up and move on. However, the nasty pattern that has been my love life, just simply can't be ignored. No one likes to think of himself/herself like that. Self-examination is a frightening practice. What upsets me the most, is that I just don't know what it is. Maybe it will be revealed to me when I get off this train.
SPORTS - My nephew and I are going to the Cincinnati Bengals training camp next week. It will be nice to have some one-on-one time with him. He is a HUGE Bengals fan and it is soley my fault. Since there is a good chance that he (and his brother) are the closest things I will have to children of my own, I can smile when I see him wearing his "Chad Johnson" jersey and place my feet on the Bengals floor mats in his car.
HOME - I think my wife is leaving town again this week. I will try to take this opportunity to organize a garage sale this coming weekend. We have too much stuff and not enough room for it. Plus, we can use the money. Anybody need a riding mower? How about a HOUSE?







21 comments:

Sayre said...

You are under a lot of pressure, my friend. New boss and having to exude professionalism when your heart is aching so much - it's tough.

I'm sorry your marriage isn't working out as you had imagined it would. From what you have written, it sounds as if you've given it the best you have and it still isn't working. Marriage should be a partnership, with mutual love, mutual respect and it should benefit BOTH parties. I spent too many years in an unhappy marriage, where my husband was the dictator and I was the subordinate. And the funny thing was, neither one of us was happy. I finally had to be the one with the guts to say, "This isn't working," and walk out. It isn't easy, even when you're getting the short end of the stick - especially if you believe that marriage is for keeps and you need to do whatever it takes to keep it together. There are times when it just doesn't work. I was in such a situation for 7 years - and I wish I had that time back. I'm not saying leave, but I am saying that if you decide that it is what's right for you and your wife that it does NOT make you a failure. Just two people who weren't right for each other.

My prayers are with you and your wife as you face these questions together or alone.

Hope you make some money on your garage sale!!!

thewritejerry said...

Have you guys gone together to counseling yet, either at church or with a therapist?

I understand we only get to see your side of the story here on the blog, but what are her complaints/sticking points/ expectations/disappointments?

Does she feel any responsibility? Is there a desire on her part to make it work?

I'll be praying for you guys.

Nikki said...

I'm totally desperate for a riding lawn mower. How much do you want for it? I've got 7 bucks...want it?

...on a serious note.

Jeff, I am deeply sorry about your marriage. I hope you get it all sorted out for the best one way or another...I really do.

Thinking of you.

Jeff said...

Thanks, Sayre. I am sure it will work out the way it is supposed to.

Jerry: Thanks for your prayers. I really don't want to get into too much detail in a public blog. I didn't mean to give just one side. I don't want anyone to side with me. I don't want sides at all. She did tell me that last night that she didn't have any motivation to make it work.

Nikki: Thanks for your concern and thoughts. It is appreciated.

Friend of God said...

Funny that the democratic senators are playing an enlightened game of Hypocrisy. its crazy. Though there is a chance they learnt it from some ministers of the gospel.

Yeah a relationship is not easy but i think something in you still wants to make it work. If it helps at all, talk to your wife..tell her how much you value the relationship and love her and want your marriage to work. I'm sure you've probably done that many times but dude, blurt it out again. you might get lucky. Hope is invaluable...and a woman does need to be reassured as much as possible..its amazing how easily a woman can feel insecure and sometimes lose hope.. Either way, you are the man and you can make this marriage work with God on your side

cheers

Laura said...

you have so much going on. i wish i could give you a wave of a wand to make it all bright, perfect and happy...sorry , still on the disney mindset. seriously, i am sorry for the crap going on.
a belated happy birthday to you too. was it the 20th? so is my guy's.
we caught a glimpse of TFB-M's last interview with Larry King from a few days ago and found it to be frightenly sad. it was too much for my husband who saw his giant of a father waste away to s skeletal shell just like she did. it was a nice tribute you wrote.
take care.

The Real Mother Hen said...

I still keep you in my prayer Jeff.

kristen said...

'If a candidate has a strong faith, then let it shine from his/her own presence'

Amen, and well said. What's up with this rent-a-religion fiasco? The American people aren't stupid and can see right through the fakeness.

This was a great post, but it broke my heart a little :( I sincerely hope everything works out for the best in your marriage.

Random Magus said...

Wish you the best of luck at your job.
As far as marriage goes, all marriages have this phase when you feel that it's just going to snap, and then you take stock and decide whether it's worth saving, trying to foresee some of the future with or without and after you decide, whether to ride out he rough patch or to walk away, things become much easier.
My prayers are with you

Michelle said...

So sorry to hear things are not good, Jeff.

Prayers, best wishes, lucky horseshoes.. whatever I can throw in the pot.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Hi Jeff....
Thanks for stopping by. I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well for you. As Dory says in "Finding Nemo", just keep swimming!!!

I'm going to steal your Newsflash idea, if you don't mind.

If you want some kids, come see me.....you can have some of mine!!
(ha, ha)

J.

Rhea said...

I can't use the riding mower, but I'll take the house.

Mammamia said...

I'm sorry, I don't know you at all so I hope I'm not prying, but I couldn't resist stopping by after the comment you left on Kristen's today. Your pain was palpable in a few short words.

I don't know your wife, so I could be totally off, but as a woman who has actually said something similar to, "I don't have any motivation to make this work," to her husband, I thought I might offer a possible translation.

When I said it, it was my dramatic way of screaming for help in not so many words. It meant I'm emotionally tired. It meant sit down, hold me, tell me why you fell in love with me in the first place and why I'm still worth loving today. It meant I'm scared and I don't know where to begin teaching you to understand me and my needs probably because I don't know what they are myself and I feel hopeless.

An expression of understanding into her deep hopes and fears could go a long way into making her feel safe enough to try. Good luck.

thewritejerry said...

I'm with Mammamia on this one.

MrsWrite and I were doing a lot of fighting. She is a real go-go do-do kind of gal and I'm a homebody. She likes to change things up and I like things to be the same.

Then one day she wanted to do a bunch of projects in the house. She expected a fight. I didn't fight, I agreed.

The next day, the projects had grown to a bigger level. I didn't fight, I agreed.

The third day she wanted to plan a trip. I didn't fight, I agreed.

On that day, I also praised her and told her how much I appreciate her initiative.

The next day, I was having a bad day, and she was sympathetic. I again told her how much I appreciated her.

Day after that, she took the initiative to be supportive of my work situation. I thanked her and told her how much I appreciated her.

And then - not suddenly, but built upon the string of positive moments - we were more affectionate and romantic. Fun came back into our home. The atmosphere transformed from combative into supportive. We no longer shied away from each other because we instinctively knew the other wanted to support and appreciate us.

What I'm saying here is that there is a way to put the breaks on any descent and turn things around. It just takes one person willing to stand in, be vulnerable and change things.

take a vicious cycle and turn it into a positive cycle. The good can gain momentum just as easily as the bad.

Stay strong by being open :-)

Jeff said...

Friend of God: Thanks for your encouragement. Yeah, I am still plugging away.

Laura: Oh yeah, I am 20!! lol I also saw the TFB-M interview on Larry King. She wore me out seeing her fight for every sentence.

Thanks Mother Hen: I can't have too many prayers.

Jeff said...

Kristen: I am not so sure that the American people are as smart as we would like them to be. ;) Thanks for your well-wishes.

Random Magus: Thanks for your prayers. Marriages are odd institutions indeed. From where I stand, they are kind of over-rated. ;)

Michelle: Thanks. I am sure things will end up the way they are supposed to end up.

Jeff said...

Hoosiergirl: Too bad that I am not a great swimmer, eh? ;)

I am sure your kids are great so you would miss them if I took them - maybe not the same year, but you would miss them eventually. ;)

Steal away with the NEWSFLASH. Immitation is the most sincerest form of flattery. I am not sure I really believe that, but it works in this instance.

Rhea: If you take the house, I will throw in the mower. You will need it then, anyway. If you are mobile enough to move to Indiana, I will take a loss on the house for you. ;)

Mammamia: Thanks and welcome! Your comments will always be appreciated. I will take your thoughts into consideration.

Jerry: I would love to be able to "build" on the relationship. The building of it has not seemed to work on her end so far. Every morning, when the sun comes up, it seems that someone stole the foundation we built the night before while we were sleeping.

HollyGL said...

Jeff, Its funny (funny interesting, not funny haha) that you mention your love relationship history because that is actually what my next post is about. When I'm finished with my "break". Which is turning out to be a lot harder than I had expected... :(

Jeff said...

Steph: I look forward to reading it. It is strange how waves of thoughts channel together like that.

Freelance said...

Lovely blog. Keep up the gud wuk!

Cheers!

Jeff said...

Thanks so much, Freelance.