The Time of my Wife

It has been said here and elsewhere that my wife is immature and has other unflattering attributes that prevent her from having a healthy relationship with me. Because of my influence, i.e. my point of view, all evidence presented here would back up those assertions. There is some truth to these, I wistfully admit. However, there is another side of her. I think it is only fair to present this side.

A couple of months ago, we were in dire need of a new vacuum cleaner. Having five dogs will re-arrange one's priorities in this manner. We ended up shelling out major bucks for a Dyson (I whole-heartedly endorse this product, by the way). As a result, she made me agree to not do anything for Valentine's Day - in the line of gifts. None for me. None for her. Just cards.

Monday, February 11 - I find this note with an artificial sunflower (my favorite flower):

Happy Valentine's Week

Day 1

These are a few of your favorite things . . .

When I think of you, I think of sunflowers!

Love you,

Your Wife

Tuesday, February 12 - I find this note with a small horseshoe. I LOVE horses and horse racing. I am not all about the betting aspect, just a love for horses and watching them run:

Happy Valentine's Week

Day 2

These are a few of your favorite things . . .

When I think of you, I think of your love of horses!

(This is an aluminum race plate worn on a winning thoroughbred at Oaklawn Park in

Hot Springs, Arkansas. It still has racetrack dirt in it - that has to be lucky!)

Love you,

Your Wife

Wednesday, February 13 - I find this note with a folded t-shirt. On it was "Jamaica" nicely stitched on the front:

Happy Valentine's Day

Day 3

These are a few of your favorite things . . .

When I think of you, I think of t-shirts. Just kidding!

I think of our honeymoon in Yeah-Mon Land (Sigh. . .)

Love you,

Your Wife

Finally, on Valentine's Day she showered me with sugar free candy (respecting my diet and knowing that I like it). She even found sugar-free peeps! I LOVE peeps. She gave me a wonderful card and framed, old-fashioned, artistic print of the Island of Jamaica.
She didn't give me just a token, obligatory card. She put effort into it and made me feel that I was worth the trouble.

When I thought about doing this post, I thought that the Valentine's story would be it. However, earlier this week, my wife choked me up again. Monday night I got home late. I was bustled because I had to rush from my main job to a secondary job teaching a class on SAT preparation. After I was finished, I called my wife and asked her if I could bring something home for her. See, I am always mindful that my wife may feel that I am neglecting her because I am always busy. Sometimes I feel that she doesn't understand all the things I do nor understand all the reasons that I do them.

I stopped and brought home a bite to serve as a late supper for us. After eating, I had to run some errands (picking up prescriptions, check on my mother, etc. and take out my mother's trash (trash night for her and me on Mondays). Of course, I got home late and exhausted. My wife was already in bed, but left me a note. It literally choked me up:

"Dearest Jeff,

I want you to know that I REALLY, appreciate all the many things you do each and every day. You are a great son, teacher, helper, and of course, husband. I don't know what I (or anyone else!) would do without you. Thanks for being who you are. You're good at it!

Love you and goodnight,

Your Wife"

I don't know if any of you will really get what I got out of that, but you don't have to. It worked for me and it was the best thing I could have found that night. Oh, how I wanted to wake her up and let her know. . . but I let her sleep.
As I was getting ready to send this, I received a text message from her that only said, "Love you".
Enough said.


Sayre said...

That was a beautiful post, Jeff. The Valentine Week was great, but you're right - the "what you do" note was really, really special. I'm glad that she recognizes that you put forth so much effort for so many people's benefit (including hers). That is priceless.

I hope that she continues to grow as a wife and a friend and that one day you BOTH will feel truly blessed to be traveling through life with each other.

Michelle said...

That was lovely, Jeff. Lovely to get the "other side" point of view too.

Yeah, we tend to forget when writing/talking that what to us might be just venting a bit can make the person we are venting about slowly start to sound like a monster. I did that twice, unintentionally. Both people had their faults, but they ended up sounding way worse to others because all I was sharing was their faults.

This post is a good reminder!

Oh, the offer still stands to give extra astro insights if you ever want.

Anonymous said...

Nice to hear.

Makes things sound a bit better, a bit more balanced and normal...

Perhaps if my husband only wrote about the times when I was annoying I might sound pretty bad. (If he kept a blog that is.)

goddessdivine said...

Those are so sweet. Thanks for sharing. I even got a little choked up myself! ;-)

The Real Mother Hen said...

That's lovely.

So the moral of the story is:

I should demand a love note on every morning to keep me going.

Then I should demand a breakfast in bed every morning to keep me healthy.

Cool, I like that :)

Chris said...

That put a smile on my face. I'm glad for you!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad for you that there is a bit of a balance and that she does indeed recognize and appreciate your efforts and hard work.

Meg said...

Awww. That's really sweet.

Anonymous said...

omg J, that was the best entry ever, all your entries should be like that :D

your friend,