A New Diet?

As most of you know, I am still on a quest to lose weight and get back into shape. Next week I am going to start the weight training again. I had to take a break from it in the winter because my "gym" is in the garage. Hands on metal at 15 degrees at 5 o'clock in the morning just wasn't something I was willing to do. Call me "undisciplined".

Now it is spring and I am ready to go full force. I am even considering the new "Purina" diet. Haven't heard of it? Well, this is what my wife sent me in email:

Purina Diet

I have a couple of dogs and was buying several bags of Purina at Wal-Mart.
While I was waiting in line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On
impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time! But,
I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an Intensive Care Ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works
is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you felt hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete. So I was
going to give it another try. I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the check out line was by now enthralled with my story,
especially a tall heavy man behind her.

Horrified, she asked why had I ended up in the hospital? Had I been
poisoned? I told her no; I'd been sitting in the middle of the street
licking myself and a car hit me!! The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of
the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter!

I paid for the Purina and left a lot of smiles behind me!

I hope this post brought a smile to your face as did the email my wife sent me.


Charles said...

Yeah it brought a smile out of me.

Jeff I don't know how you did it, but you have a second posting of this beneath it.

Speaking of purina, there is a recall on the moist cat food. There has been a number of recalls recently. I wonder what is going on?

Sayre said...

Well, the brands seem to change as they discover new information, but apparently there is something in Old Roy and Iams dogfood (wet only as far as I can tell) that causes kidneys to shutdown. I hadn't heard about the cat food - I'll need to check this out.

And Jeff? I did laugh out loud! A head poked around the door, too!

GOod luck with your weightloss efforts. I'm just trying to get back to where I was before I got sick. Tough duty.

Tai said...

mmmm, cruchy purina goodness!!

Cathy said...

LOL.. that was funny! It brought a smile to my face for sure.

Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I can work it into a conversation with my fellow checkout line dwellers the next time I buy dog food.

Nice blog btw! Love, love love the name of it! :D

Knock knock - it's cancer! said...

Awww...your wife is too good to you!

Emily Suess said...

He should've tried Eukanuba instead of Purina. Complete nutrition--and you're supposed to poop less. Now that's win-win!

Nikki said...


What? you said to call you that.

I'm on the treadmill these days and eating mass amounts of apples and fiber. Hurray.

Anonymous said...

ahhh hearing you on a purina diet brought back memories of Soup Sales Show.. he had two "dogs" he talked to who would often stir up "gravy Train" and Soupy thought it was stew ..heh..

Lippy said...

YES! LOL, that was a good one that I'll have to share around a little.


kimber said...

This brought a smile to both my face and the face of my partner, to whom I read it out loud. Thanks for the snicker -- I'm sure to remember this tonight when I next feed my dog!