Friday, September 19, 2008

What a Fool Believes

She greeted him with a smile. He looked at her. It wasn't just a normal glance, but he peered deep searching for any kind of justification for what he was feeling . . hoping.

"I saw this downtown and thought of you," he said as he presented her with a small stuffed animal. It was a dog with big sad eyes and droopy ears.

She tried to hide her discomfort, and graciously accepted the small token. "Thank you, it is very cute," she replied and mustered a smile.

Convinced that he was now in her graces, he decreased the distance between them. "Do you remember the time we went to the fair and I won that over sized wiener dog for you?"

"Oh sure," she responded as she glanced at her wall clock from the corner of her eyes, "you threw footballs through a tire or someting, didn't you? That was nice."

"Actually, I shot three basketballs through the hoop . I guess I was pretty lucky, though, because those rims there were shaped like footballs instead of hoops." He laughed what he considered a clever laugh as he recalled the details.

She was wondering how long she was going to have to play along. She knew he was good guy, but that was all she could say about him. He, on the other hand, was contemplating how he was going to extend this drop-by into an evening.

"Are you hungry?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just ate before you got here. It is just as well, though, because I have a million things to do. Maybe another time, though - REALLY!" She wished she had that last sentence back, but getting him out was her primary concern.

He, replayed the "REALLY" over and over in his mind. It gave him a smile that even his limited knowledge of all things suave, made him keep on the inside. "Hey, I understand. Give me a call sometime . . . or I will call you."

He slowly backed through the door that she was already poised to close. "Sure, sounds great."

That was it. He whistled to his car, already deep in thought about when and for what purpose he would call her. She tossed the stuffed dog in the hall closet as she made her way to the vanity where she would continue preparing for a fun night without him.



What a Fool Believes
Michael McDonald/Kenny Loggins

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see
Tryin' hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life

She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
The wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him...

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there's a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
The wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There's nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ike, Big Brother, and Finality


NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:



News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - I am sure glad that I don't live in Texas. No, it isn't because "W" is from there, although that is a good point. It is just that even here in my little pocket of southwestern Indiana, Hurricane Ike was brutal. He came through Sunday and there are still thousands of people without power. A good friend of mine still has no electricity and he is being quite testy - even with moi! I am just thinking about what they are recovering from in the Galveston-Houston area. My prayers go out to them.

ENTERTAINMENT - Big Brother 10 is now history. It was very satisfying to me because it was one of the rare seasons that my fave took the prize. Actually, the last two seasons were quite nice. I particularly liked this one, because the winner, Dan, had to go through a whole lot more challenges than others on there. Plus, he was just a fun guy to "be around'.

WORK - The big meeting with my evaluation is tonight. I am so concerned about it that instead of brushing up on any questions that may be asked, I am blogging here for you people. I think it will be fine. I am just glad that I won't have to think about it much more.

SPIRIT - I had a pretty good brush with the Holy Spirit yesterday - believe it or not. I had lunch with one of my commissioners (one who will evaluate me). We didn't talk about work, though. She is having a tough time understanding her husband and feeling a lot of pressure. It is more complicated than most because he has been recently diagnosed with cancer and it does not look promising.

Going into the lunch, I was pretty pre-occupied with my own marital situation as I will get to later. All of the sudden, the spirit filled my mouth and I started ministering to this commissioner explaining why her husband was acting the way he was acting along with an assorted other issues that she was troubled with. It was as if I was sitting next to myself watching and listening to me talk. I even tried to tell myself to shut up; this was a boss, for crying out loud, and I am hardly an expert in dealing with her situation. Yet, I continued anyway.

I really didn't know how she was going to take this flood of . . . whatever it was. However, after a good cry, she told me that she was so grateful for that lunch and that I will never know how much that meant to her.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

FAMILY - the family is one facet of my life that is looking good. Of course, wing night was last night and a good time was had by all. It is nice to know that my siblings will always be there when I need them. We have that with each other and that is a blessing that everyone doesn't have. I need to make sure I think about that more often.

LOVE - This is the reason I was pre-occupied with myself when lunching with my troubled commissioner. Yesterday, my wife went to file a paper at the courthouse to waive the final hearing of our divorce which was supposed to be late next week. However, she came back my ex-wife. They processed the paperwork while she was there and now it is over. It freaked her out. It freaked me out. Now things are . . . different.

ANGUISH - See above

SPORTS - I feel as though I am mathematically eliminated from my fantasy football title chase. It is only in its second week. How sad! On top of that, my beloved Bengals are worse than my fantasy team. In most seasons, if this type of thing was going on in my sports life, I would be furious. This time, for some reason . . . I just don't care.

HOME - My renter has come as close as I have been in YEARS to causing me to enflict physical harm on another human being. He is just too much for me to deal with right now. So, I will skip that little story, lest I get all worked up about it again, and share this one instead:

I am taking over the house that I shared with my wife. She is leaving town for good this weekend, and I am financing it in my name. For a while, there was no chance that I would be willing to do this. Now, however, it is the only thing that makes sense. I am happy about it. It is just a plain little two bedroom house, but that is all a batchelor (sigh) like me needs right now.

Friday, September 12, 2008

The Real Dope

I thought I would take this opportunity to give you an update about how I am. My divorce will be final in a couple of weeks. My soon to be ex-wife, is moving away next week. We are getting along and things are as nice as they can be. She even talks of a friendship.

As for me, the pain of it all is not as excruciating as it was. When the good book states that He will not give us more than we can bear, this is an example of the truth of that. Of course, He makes no bones about taking us right to the threshold. However, with the debilitating pain gone, I still have my job, home, and the support of family and friends. Even though I can function, there is still a cloud of somberness that I live in. I am sure that it will pass, too. The worst is over.

I went back and republished all the posts that I removed back when life and criticism was too much to bear. It is a record and it documents who I really am, not the person I wish I could be.

One thing that I did get putting those posts back on this blog was that it afforded me the opportunity to get back in touch with my writing. I had kind of lost that. I have a spark of motivation now to continue to write - not only for this blog, but for my own literary pursuits. I will take the blessings wherever I find them.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

White Women's Intelligence are Pal-in Comparison


NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:



News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - If I was a white woman, I would be so irritated at how my demographic is made up to look like it is comprised of bubble-headed fools right now with this election. Before the Sarah Palin pick for McCain's VP, Obama held an 8-point lead among white women voters, 50 percent to 42 percent, according to the Washington Post/ABC News poll. After the Republican convention, McCain was ahead by 12 points among the same demographic, 53 to 41 percent. That is a 20 point turn around - for what?? An unknown woman who gave a pretty good speech is now a candidate for an important job and somehow that changes the opinion on how McCain is going to do as president for a party that ran us in the ground for the past eight years. Pitiful.

ENTERTAINMENT - I have discovered a new TV show that has captivated me. When I was married, it wasn't conducive to watch, but now I am catching up on Friday Night Lights. My nephew has lent me his "Season One" on DVD and I can't wait to be able to find time to watch whatever episode is next as I go through them in order. It is a good drama that just happens to be set in a Texas high school football town. There has some very touching moments and most of the storylines do not have much to do with the game, itself. This show gets Psychosomatic Wit's big recommendation.

WORK - My evaluation is coming up next week. I am not too happy with my own job performance. I have been distracted the past couple of months. However, I am sure it will be fine.

SPIRIT - This is pretty complicated thing right now to share in a small blurb. The Reader's Digest version is just that God sees things that I can't see and the more I accept that, the more peace I experience.

FAMILY - I have started a weekly family night at a local eating establishment on Tuesday nights. My siblings and I get together for wing night. It is something that is needed by all of us and the wings are on sale for $ 0.35 a piece on Tuesday nights. My sister finally got her disability and her life has changed around. Praise God!

LOVE - What does my love life and a Hoover have in common? Think about it.

ANXIETY - The lingering pain that is associated with above category.

SPORTS - Fantasy Football has started again. It is a welcome distraction. I am second to last after one week. This is the first year in it that I really don't care about that little fact.

HOME - I may buy my (ex)wife's house as soon as my tenant buys mine. It is complicated, but I think it would be best for everyone.

I don't know how many people still check this. I have my doubts that very many people have hung in there with me after a long wait. If most are permanently gone now, I probably deserve it. For those of you who may happen by, welcome or welcome back.