The Hallmark Life

The last of the Hallmark Christmas Movies has just ended.  For the sappy among us, they take us down a road of warm family and friends, a challenge, a Christmas miracle, a true love discovered, and a happy ending. 

It can be quite the wonderful experience, watching these feel good movies.  Do you ever have a Hallmark tale in your life?  I don't.  I am not sure other people do.  Perhaps there are exceptions that prove the rule, but sometimes rainbows show up after rains.  That doesn't mean we live on a planet  of constant rainbows.

Perhaps why the dreamers among us are so attracted to these movies is because we don't have stories like those in our own lives.  We live vicariously through the actors on the screen - not ever entertaining the thought that those actors leave the stage and return to their real lives absent of the magic they left on the sound stage.  They are just like us, just more visible - I'm pretty sure.

Why do these stories exist?  We don't live these stories. I think I just answered my own question.

People write these stories because they need them.  Sitting at their laptops, they  can control the narrative.  They want that for their lives so they make them come to life on page and screen.  We all go for the ride because we, too, need them.

It is 2018 today.  Write your own Hallmark script this year and then LIVE IT!

Life

Lives and dispositions are changed at a moment’s notice.

Friends are our best friends and then they are gone.

You are in love, out of love, never was in love, You don’t even know what love means.

Always searching for answers, question God, don’t question God. How dare you to think you could question God?

Selfishness . . . everyone with their own agendas, you don’t want to be selfish, you want to be selfish, how dare you be selfish? We have to survive, don’t we?

We want to be touched, we don’t want to be touched, how dare you expect me to touch you? It isn’t our brains, but our spirits that long to be touched.

Life . . . just try to live it.

Socialism, Different Strokes for Different Folks

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
__________________________________________

It has been a while since I had my old trusted NEWS FLASH.  There is no way I am going to be able to catch up.  That, I trust, will come about slowly over time.  However, I will take more of a snapshot of what is going on right now.

NEWS - For those of you with a memory, it won't be surprising to know that healthcare reform is the topic I would choose to cover in this segment.  President Obama, who promised reform, cannot emphasize enough that for those people satisfied with their insurance and healthcare, they don't have to change anything.  However, the public is getting pelted with scare tactics about (shutter) SOCIALISM!! (pardon me while I go lock the doors!). Not only is he not talking about a single-payer system like the backward, third world countries like France and Great Britain have, he is just trying to get everyone covered with an affordable plan.  However, since socialistic medicine is so bad, I think I am going to get my mother off Medicare since that is what IT is.  Plus, maybe I should lead a crusade to get all of the socialistic things out of our society.  Join with me while I opt out of police and fire protection in addition to shredding my library card.  Sheesh!  In insurance companies we trust!

ENTERTAINMENT - My latest guilty pleasure is Fear.net.  It is on my cable system as a free on-demand option.  These movies are great in some way.  They don't seem to be low-budget, but some of the acting is a little bad.  However, they are fun and entertaining.  I suggest Dee Snyder's Strangeland.  Snyder, best known as the front man from Quiet Riot, wrote, produced, directed, and starred in this thing.  Quite entertaining despite it being kind of . . . bad.

WRITING - Obviously, the blog is back.  I am still wrestling with opening it up to everyone.  Previously,  I had blog people, and real life people and never the two met.  My fear is that the worlds will collide or worse, I sensor some subject matter to spare people's feelings or sensitivities.  Just don't know . . .

SPIRIT - I am finding that I am a different person, spiritually, since my divorce.  I wouldn't say that I am weaker in faith, I just have a shift in priorities. As a matter of fact, I think my faith is stronger. I never felt I was a legalist (a person who strictly follows the rules for rules sake).  However, I am even less of one now.  I believe too strict a lifestyle retards communion with God.  In a since, following the rules becomes one's God.  So, I follow my inner conviction more, and fundemental teaching, less.  Of course, this may just be a phase I am going through as a part of healing.  I am open.

FAMILY - My sister had a major stroke last week.  It was quite a miracle, according to her physician (if you can believe that).  The doctor came in after reading her MRI and other test results and claimed to be dreading talking to the family because she expected my sister to be quite severely affected (perhaps even comatose or vegetative).  However instead, she was alert and conversing with us.  She is confused and has forgotten a lot of things, but she is far ahead of what the doctor expected.  He said, "People throw this word around too much, but this, indeed, is a miracle!"

LOVE - Love is never the same after a divorce.  There is fear and ego damage and an ever-guarded attitude.  I have seen a few people, but it is too soon to tell what is going to happen with the latest one.  I am really not completely sure about what I even want.

ANGUISH - I have been trying to buy the house I lived in with my wife.  She owned it before we married; it is in her name.  The bank (who presently shall remain nameless) had a good deal going for me.  Then, nothing!  I was supposed to close on May 15, but I haven't heard anything.  All my phone calls since then have been unanswered.  I stand to lose a great interest rate and a $200 application fee if this falls through.  I understand there is a deadline for the rate lock, but I am not sure what it is.  I am sure that if it expires, it isn't my fault.  There will be hell to pay.

SPORTS - Sadly, I was on hiatus during some of the best sports times.  We missed the Superbowl, and the Kentucky Derby and the fact that I was even present at the NASCAR Bristol Food City 500 and the Indianapolis 500 Time trials.  Well, I guess I covered it after all - sort of.

HOME - I finally have someone in that cursed house I need to get rid of.  He has the same deal the last guy had except a better one for him. What it is, is that he lives there at a VERY discounted rate in exchange for helping me improve the property for future sale.  The difference is that this guy comes recommended by someone that knows him well. He works in construction and apparently can do about anything. I am optimistic.  At some time in the future, I will address what happened to the last guy.  It is quite a story.

History, The Shack, and a Healthy, Loveless Life

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - I am thrilled at the results of this election. Even SOME people that I know that voted for McCain seem to understand the significance of this election - in a positive way. A majority of the citizens of the US put an African-American into the highest office in the country - perhaps the most powerful position on the planet. THE PEOPLE put him there! At last, there is hope that EVERYONE is invited to the table. When one sees the face of a minority on the television screen, it just may be the president of the United States, and not an example of one of the negative stereotypes that unfairly rose to the attention of the masses. That is huge. What touched me the most, is a story I heard on one of the news channels where it was heard that African-American man stated that he could finally look in his young son's eyes and proclaim, "Son, you can be ANYTHING you want to be in this country," and be able to surely mean it.

ENTERTAINMENT - I am VERY motivated now to read The Shack by William P. Young. A lot of people who have read it give it glowing reviews. However, that is not why I want to read it. It is those people who are attempting to expose it as heresy that is causing me to shell out bucks at Barnes and Nobles tomorrow and pick up the thing. Some critics give no allowances for literary license and their critiques sound very dogmatic. I am not a fan of legalistic dogma. I think people miss out too much on blessings by whining about anything that strays from a textbook approach to spirituality. It reminds me of the time when the movie, The Last Temptation of Christ came out and a high number of religious groups were up in arms over it. Most of them, by their own admission, had not even seen the movie. Of course, I had to see it. Guess what? It wasn't the most exciting movie I had ever seen. It certainly was not thoroughly consistent with the Scriptures, but it was far from heresy. It offered a literary approach to the humanity of Christ instead of the robot-like God-Jesus we were all used to seeing in previous movies. I see the criticism of The Shack perhaps being in that same light.

It reminds me of two different people seeing a happening on the street and comparing notes. One saw a vehicle going way over the posted speed limits and even crossing the center line from time to time and generally being a menace to every law-abiding driver on the roads. The other saw an ambulance rushing to save a life. I wonder how I will see The Shack.

WORK (or writing in this case) - My big project is starting slow. Life's distractions are the enemy of creativity and production. I always wanted to move to Montana by myself and set up a home office to be able to write without distraction. That probably will not happen, but I am determined to carry on nonetheless.

SPIRIT - My common theme for the spirit is and will remain "surrender":

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.

FAMILY - I am getting a little concerned about my mother. The other morning, I found her hours before she normally gets up. She was dressed and ready to go. She was concerned that none of her kids were there to be ready for the party. It took me a couple of hours to convince her that there was no party and that she had dreamed the whole thing. It takes her too long to differentiate between reality and dreams sometimes. She always comes out of it, but exclaims, "It was so real." I wonder if there will ever be a day that she just doesn't come out of it. God forbid.

LOVE - Frankly, I am just avoiding it. I am usually a humble kind of guy, but I am just not going to give love so freely - not that special someone kind of love. The more women I meet, the more I realize that most are not worthy of what I have to give. I am the type of guy that will treat my significant other like a queen. I will spend every day thinking of her first - trying to make her day better, every day. I try to give her a reason to smile on a daily basis. I want her to count on laughter when she's that I am on the phone - especially if she needs that lift. I never allow the prospect that she feels unimportant or unloved. She will never doubt my feelings and affection for her. That is just my nature - the way I think everyone should be. However, I am tired of casting my pearls before the swine. I am just not going to do it anymore.

ANGUISH - My tenant! Actually he moved out, had the power turned off, but didn't tell me any of it. He still has stuff in there - some of it valuable. However, he hasn't paid for October, let alone November. I am going to have to change the locks.

SPORTS - I am setting up an office/gym in my house. I also bought a Wii Fit. I am going to be healthy if it kills me. I finished well in the contest at work. Clothes that I couldn't have worn at this past summer are falling off of me now. Guess how I did it? That's right, I surrendered.

HOME - I think I kind of covered this already in other headings. Things are shaping up and will be great as soon as I get that TENANT OUT OF MY LIFE!TT

The Gale

His heart was racing as he ran down the road. Isaac felt it nearly beating a hole through his chest, not only because of the stress of the exercise, but also because of the fear that welled inside him. He often looked back over his shoulder, but there was never anyone there.

He saw a small town enter his vision at the bend of the road. He knew he had to get there, somewhere where no one knew him. Somewhere he could rest – at least for a while. He slowed to a walk as the town got bigger in his view.

There were many people on foot smiling and talking to each other. Some even greeted him with a smile and a nod. He could hear music playing somewhere. It seemed like a nice enough town. Perhaps he could blend in, get something to drink, rest and figure all this out.

As he entered a small store, the middle-aged clerk behind the counter greeted him with a smile. “What can I help you with today?”

“I . . . uh . . . I just need something to drink, some water or something.”

“Sure,” she responded,“ but I’m gonna have to charge you a nickel for the cup. Free refills, though,” she laughed.

As Isaac, felt for a coin in his pocket, he felt his tension easing up. The lady behind the counter had the right kind of mannerisms to give him a reprieve. He was appreciative for it, no matter how brief it might be. He plopped the nickel down on the counter, grabbed the cup and backed against the nearest wall for a little more rest.

“You sure look haggard, Darlin’,” the clerk sympathized. “Are you looking for someone? Is there something I can do to help you?”

“No . . . I am fine,” Isaac uttered, “I am just passing through.”

“Well, I wish you a safe journey. If you need anything else . . .” Her sentence was interrupted by a stirring in the air.

Isaac felt a cold wind in his face. His rattled nerves reacted as he pondered how this breeze could find him again and be so cold in the summer heat -and be inside this little store. He watched the clerk’s hair blow from right to left on her head and onto her face. Then it was gone.

“What are you doing here?” The clerk's demeanor was changed. She was now shouting at Isaac with piercing, accusatory eyes.

“I . . . uh . . . ,” Isaac had nothing to say. Fear was now shooting through him again. The woman was moving trance-like towards him. He dropped his now empty cup and stormed out the door. He was met out in the street with the glares of the once friendly eyes of the townspeople. They froze and started heading toward him in the same way as the clerk did just seconds before.

He dashed between buildings and headed across the barren countryside. He saw the road winding around in front of him and headed for that rendezvous point that will guide him away from yet another village that turned on him without explanation. The answer to this real-life nightmare, he understood, was blowing in the wind.

Poof! Here I am!

I am interrupting this negligence for an important message: I am still alive and planning on posting soon. I have been moving and engaging in other time-consuming endeavors.

There is a lot of junk going on that needs to be settled, but other than that, I have never been better!

I am in the process of starting a project that will probably be the most important thing I have ever written. It isn't a blog piece, but something much bigger. Wish me luck and for God's sake, keep after me about it. It is pretty important.

What a Fool Believes

She greeted him with a smile. He looked at her. It wasn't just a normal glance, but he peered deep searching for any kind of justification for what he was feeling . . hoping.

"I saw this downtown and thought of you," he said as he presented her with a small stuffed animal. It was a dog with big sad eyes and droopy ears.

She tried to hide her discomfort, and graciously accepted the small token. "Thank you, it is very cute," she replied and mustered a smile.

Convinced that he was now in her graces, he decreased the distance between them. "Do you remember the time we went to the fair and I won that over sized wiener dog for you?"

"Oh sure," she responded as she glanced at her wall clock from the corner of her eyes, "you threw footballs through a tire or someting, didn't you? That was nice."

"Actually, I shot three basketballs through the hoop . I guess I was pretty lucky, though, because those rims there were shaped like footballs instead of hoops." He laughed what he considered a clever laugh as he recalled the details.

She was wondering how long she was going to have to play along. She knew he was good guy, but that was all she could say about him. He, on the other hand, was contemplating how he was going to extend this drop-by into an evening.

"Are you hungry?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just ate before you got here. It is just as well, though, because I have a million things to do. Maybe another time, though - REALLY!" She wished she had that last sentence back, but getting him out was her primary concern.

He, replayed the "REALLY" over and over in his mind. It gave him a smile that even his limited knowledge of all things suave, made him keep on the inside. "Hey, I understand. Give me a call sometime . . . or I will call you."

He slowly backed through the door that she was already poised to close. "Sure, sounds great."

That was it. He whistled to his car, already deep in thought about when and for what purpose he would call her. She tossed the stuffed dog in the hall closet as she made her way to the vanity where she would continue preparing for a fun night without him.



What a Fool Believes
Michael McDonald/Kenny Loggins

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see
Tryin' hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life

She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
The wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him...

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there's a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
The wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There's nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees...

The Real Dope

I thought I would take this opportunity to give you an update about how I am. My divorce will be final in a couple of weeks. My soon to be ex-wife, is moving away next week. We are getting along and things are as nice as they can be. She even talks of a friendship.

As for me, the pain of it all is not as excruciating as it was. When the good book states that He will not give us more than we can bear, this is an example of the truth of that. Of course, He makes no bones about taking us right to the threshold. However, with the debilitating pain gone, I still have my job, home, and the support of family and friends. Even though I can function, there is still a cloud of somberness that I live in. I am sure that it will pass, too. The worst is over.

I went back and republished all the posts that I removed back when life and criticism was too much to bear. It is a record and it documents who I really am, not the person I wish I could be.

One thing that I did get putting those posts back on this blog was that it afforded me the opportunity to get back in touch with my writing. I had kind of lost that. I have a spark of motivation now to continue to write - not only for this blog, but for my own literary pursuits. I will take the blessings wherever I find them.

Evansville and Bad Presidents

After Further Review . . .

I decided not to apply for the editorial board for the local newspaper this year. I blame you guys because not one of you suggested any of my posts for submission as writing samples. I just assumed that it wasn't worthy. Nah, just kidding. Actually, I tried to edit down some of my better posts to the 450 word requirement and it really butchered the "art" out of it - and I use that word loosely. If I would have had more time, I may have been able to figure it out, but other things in life demanded too much of my time and energy to muck with it any farther than I did. There is always next year.

* * *

My worst president poll shows some interesting results. So far, 19 of you voted and "W" is running away with it as expected. However, coming in a not-so-distant second is FDR. He was certainly a polarizing figure. Most people my mother's age and older that I have talked to would vote for him as the BEST president ever. These folks praise FDR for bringing them out of the Great Depression. His "New Deal" program put folks back to work and put food back on their plates.

Others, usually those that did not live through the Great Depression, despise him. They blame him for the "welfare state", big government, and starting the country down the road of debt.

My personal belief is that FDR and his policies were appropriate for the time. All history now is revisionist so it is hard to get an accurate picture. Whether the "New Deal" helped to end the depression is open to question. However, it did inspire hope and that is sometimes enough. I believe that he also managed WWII well, and should be praised for that. On the flip side, he did usurp the power of the presidency in a way that cleared the way for future abuse (read: Bush, George W). I guess no one's perfect.

* * *

I am getting more surfers from my hometown now. This is a result of my membership with VerveEarth. This is a site where you can find blogs that "represent" your area. Because of this, I am going to make my blog a little more Evansville, IN (and tri-state area) relevent. However, it will be just a little more locally relevent. It will not lose the flavor it has always had.

* * *

I am going to reveal Psychosomatic Wit's favorite song for each year for the past 40 years. The first year will be 1968 and will be included in the next post. If anyone knows where there is a site that anyone can listen to a song that I can either imbed or provide a link to, let me know. People should, at least, get a chance to hear it.

* * *

Why is it that some people think that they must back into their driveways or in parking spots at businesses. This practice bothers me to no end. I mean, I do know there is times when it is necessary or overly convenient. For instance, I back in my mother's drive when I am taking her with me. It shortens the distance that she has to travel from the door to the car (she is disabled). However, some folks just do it all the time for no apparent reason almost like think it is "cool" or something. One could argue that it is easier to leave, etc., but I think the ease of leaving doesn't make up for the trouble of arriving. Plus, usually someone has to wait for the yahoo to stop and back into the drive. It just drives me nuts!

Fundie Mormons, Blog Debates, and Cardell McFarland

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:



News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

It is time again for another version of what is going on in Jeff's head. I guess the first thing that is going on is that he is referring to himself in the third person - just kidding. I did make another revision in the whole NEWS FLASH format. "W" no longer designates "work." Now it stands for "writing." Work is just too boring to refer to every time. If something exciting happens, I can work it into some other category or just make a post devoted to it.

NEWS - I didn't really want to comment on the FLDS (Fundemental Latter Day Saints) church, but it just won't go away in the news, will it? Now it comes to the attention of the public through the media that a majority of the teenage girls that were taken from the compound were either pregnant or already mothers. I don't feel the need to comment on that particular aspect. I am sure that everyone has their own feelings about it. Instead, I will just state that not only do I feel sorry for the girls whose childhood was robbed from them, but I also feel sorry for the mainstream Mormon church and really, all religions in general. We all have taken a beating from the events surrounding Eldorado, Texas.

Unfortunately for him and his supporters, but it is my guess that Mitt Romney can forget about any vice-presidential ambitions now. Society loves the concept of "guilty by association", even if that association is nonexistant for any practical purpose.

ENTERTAINMENT - CBS's Big Brother is now over for this cycle. It was more satisfying this year than last. The last two standing this time were two likeable guys. Where last year, the last two were the the two one would LEAST want to win (with apologies to Evel Dick), it resulted that there was apathy over the final show of the cycle. This year, most people were satisfied with whoever won in the last episode. I guess the only thing more satisfying is if a desirable is up against an undesirable and the desirable wins. Maybe next time.

WRITING - Apparently, I am still blogging. I am torn between being overly nice in debating situations, or just let 'em rip. I have a lot of experience debating on some board sites where people are just brutal to one another. I am not for that at all. However, I do not mind a little edgy bantering as long as there are no PERSONAL attacks. Right now, I am stuck in limbo when it applies to this blog. Doggone it, I love a good debate!

SPIRIT - A lot of people who claim to be Christians do not act like it. I touched on this a bit with my last post - at least in the comment section. People should be recognized as Christian by the fruit they bear.

"The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable" -- Brennan Manning

FAMILY - We are having the big rummage sale this weekend. I am dreading it. It is quite an undertaking. It will help if we can move a bunch of stuff, though. I am having it at my house that I have been trying to sell. Wish me luck!

LOVE - Since the near divorce a few short weeks ago, things have been quite nice with my wife. It is really odd how life and marriage is in my world. I hope we turned the corner, but I have had that hope many times before. Hopefully, I can learn to trust her again. Hopefully, I will find good reason to.

ANXIETY - I don't want to mention driving again, but it is the first thing I always think of - you know the people that believe that traffic laws do not apply to them. Trying to keep five dogs quiet while feeding and letting them out at 5 am is right up there, too, for causing anxiety. The misbehaving kindergartners I tutor do their fair share of being grey hair causing agents. I guess right now, it is the upcoming rummage sale that has got my anxiety-filled attention this week.

SPORTS - A kid who went to my high school signed a national letter of intent to play basketball for Missouri State. Cardell McFarland has worked hard in a Maine prep school to make sure he was ready, both physically, and scholastically to play college basketball. Most didn't think he would ever play in college. So far, so good. I'm pulling for him. He could be a GREAT college basketball player. Remember his name!

HOME - As far as buying the "dream house" as mentioned in the last NEWS FLASH, wiser heads prevailed and we are passing on it. Fortunately for me, my wife caught a little wisdom herself so I avoided being the bad guy. We are definitely going to move, barring the marriage takes another hit, but we need more time and money. Doesn't everyone?

The Blogging Dilemma

From time to time, most bloggers come to a blogging crossroads where they wonder if they should continue. After all, blogging eats up a lot of time and it is a kind of thankless, self-indulgent sort of undertaking, isn't it? I have been at this crossroad before, and opted to continue. Logic would have it that the more one encounters this crossroad, the more likely he will choose to end his blog. This is because deciding to continue from the last crossroads encounter got him back the place where he must question the intelligence of continuing.

Why would I end this journey now?

1. The first thing that comes to mind is that inevitably if one blogs about anything near and/or dear to anyone else, drama is bound to ensue eventually. It is very easy to have one's intentions misconstrued when there is only the written words. The Lord knows that I have been in pickles with friends of mine concerning emails in the past. I take full responsibility for stepping on others' toes when it is my writing that delivers the blow to the lower phalanges of my readers. It is rather stressful to have to think about it and worry about pre-screening when one is "in the zone." In my current state of mind, when it comes to blogging, I would rather give it up then hurt or upset people I have come to care about.

2. The popularity of this blog has dwindled in recent weeks. My technorati authority number is half of what it used to be, for example. I don't really think it is less interesting, but I wouldn't, would I? I think it has to do with me posting less frequently than I used to because my life is so chaotic right now. Not only am I blogging less, but I also have less time to read your blogs and comment. There is an obligatory element among the blog community that operates under the 'blog rule of reciprocity". This states that if you comment on mine, I will comment on yours. Stop coming to mine, don't look for me on yours. I would rather not participate in this kind of mentality. I read and comment on your blogs because I want to - when I find the time. There are many blogs I read and comment on from time to time and I NEVER hear from them here. It is a mutually exclusive relationship for me. Still, there is a definite pattern there that can't be ignored. I would like to think that this blog will bring readers and commenters because of its content, not because of the social rules of blog society. I guess we would all like to think this.

Why would I continue?

1. I guess blogging and my little corner of the blog community is a part of me now. I would miss it and you a lot.

2. I NEED to write. I haven't given up my dreams of writing bigger and better things. I endeavor to be a relevant writer. Blogging gives me an incentive to write regularly. That is important for a writer. Part of me thinks that if I stop here, I will eventually stop altogether. Another dream dead is a depressing thought, isn't it?

My Options

1. Obviously, I could quit. I really don't have time for a hobby anyway. Any of the 10,000 people over the past years wanting to buy my project car decaying in the back of my mother's driveway can attest to that.

2. I could quit THIS blog and start another one that is less personal and more controversial. I can learn to not care about what others think of me and concentrate on the issues. It would kind of leave the "community" aspect of the way blogging is for me now, but trade it in for this kind of thing.

3. I could just continue the way things are and chalk it up to the reality of the world of blogging.

I must admit that all three of these options are somewhat depressing which again brings up the question, "Really, what IS the point?" I wonder what you think. . .

NEWS FLASH #16

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:


News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

It is time for NEWS FLASH again. I will get to "A Tale of Two Hairdos, Part II" soon. It is just time to take care of blog business.

NEWS - After months of the campaign, I am leaning towards Hillary Clinton. Keep in mind, this is just a "lean". I am definitely not sold on her but she has inched ahead. The reason? She has the unique experience of having a look at power from both an executive and a legislator. Being a "hands on" first lady, she knows what it is like to approach the president's office from a governor's standpoint. She knows how the presidency works better than any other candidate and was part of a very successful team when she resided in the White House previously. She has been a senator for a number of years now, also, even convincing the red-hued upper New York that she is worthy of support. So, she has the legislative viewpoint covered. She has an intelligent and authorative presence in the debates. And, despite her "liberal" label, she is one of the most centrist candidates in the Democratic field. She is going to be tough to beat.

I know there are a few staunch Republican readers of this blog. If this is you, please tell me why the Republicans hate her so much - way more than the other Democrats in the field. I have never understood this. Of course, I am an independent, so I am out of the loop.

ENTERTAINMENT - The new fall TV season is underway. I haven't watched all of the shows I intended to, although I do have some recorded. I have seen a little of "Kid Nation" as the only new program I have seen so far. I am afraid I am not going to be able to keep track of it enough to enjoy it. So far, the highlights of the new season is the "Family Guy" Star Wars adaptation, and of course the unparalleled "The Office."

WORK - Just when I thought work was settling down, another big meeting was scheduled for this week. It is a little lower key, than the past one, but it is costing me precious free time. ;)

SPIRIT - My church is changing stuff and I am not pleased. I like to sit in the balcony but they are going to close it because they are adding a third service. They like people to be clustered for some reason. I don't like to be clustered plus I just hate change. Secondly, they are pushing the service that I go to 15 minutes later than normal from now on. Hate it. I like getting out in time to see almost the entire football game, now I will miss the first quarter or go to the early service (which is completely different in preacher, lesson, and worship than what I prefer). People always have to be changing stuff. Maybe this should be in the "Anxiety" section. ;)

FAMILY - My wife started a new job today. I pray that it works out for her. She is teaching preschool. She told me this is one job that she wouldn't have to quit if we had kids. She doesn't know it, but if that is the case, this is the only job she could have that would enable me to submit to having kids. ;)

LOVE - Things have rebounded some with my wife. The job helps, but even before, it was getting better. We did have a setback on her birthday and the few days after, but now we have things to build on again.

ANXIETY - The investor that was going to make me an offer on my house last week did not call me back. Another person I was expecting to call, didn't either. Same ol', same ol'.

SPORTS - I am supposed to be in Cincinnati tonight to watch the Bengals host the Patriots live for Monday Night Football. I can't make it, however. No money, no time. I probably could have put it together, but since this is the first day of my wife's new job, I want to be there for her.

HOME - My father-in-law is coming this weekend. Here in Evansville, we are having our week-long West Side Nut Club Fall Festival. This is no small deal. The fall festival here is the second largest (behind Mardis Gras) street festival in the US. If you Google "fall festival", this is the first site listed. It is always a blast and a big tradition around here.

In addition, I guess I can put this under "Home" because "Home" is kind of a catch-all, but I am considering entering a short story to be published in a local literary magazine. I don't know if I am going to do it or not, but I got a great story idea in the shower this morning. Ah, but so little time.

Cryptic, Don't Bother

Sometimes when life is happening, it is hard to put down in words what you are thinking. It is far easier for me to pace across the floor speaking into a recorder than to try to pound out on a keyboard something that has some sense to it. I don't record, though, because I am lazy and it would make me feel foolish.

I find myself now in a particular place. I am miserable and can't eat. I have talked about "it" with a couple of family members and one or two friends. Still, there is no use. I would feel better if I COULD blog about it, but I can't on many levels. Instead I MUST blog about it in code to God.

What a concept! I blog (not write a private prayer letter in Word) to God on the public net. It makes no sense, yet I feel compelled to do it. I don't know why.

One issue turns into another and another. Doors that have never been open before are now opened, but they are not meant to be used. Personally, I stay away from the doors, but everyone doesn't have that same conviction. Instead, I am at the mercy of another who threw the door open and from a particular perspective, believe that it can be seen, green grass.

What will it take? Pain. Pain that I can't ignore and shouldn't. To avoid the pain would deprive me of what I need to see - need to learn. Yet, just to let Edith Keeler die without trying to lift a finger to help takes great faith in fate.

What it all boils down to is faith and surrender. The ebbs of time are flowing no matter whether I try to swim against the current or inexasperation yield my body over to the stream, bashing my head on rocks along the way.

Somewhere in what only appears to be the vast wilderness is a path that will lead to where I am destined to go. When I get there, battered and bloody, I will eventually walk that path in dry clothes.

Bound To Come Some Trouble

As I alluded to in the comments of the previous post, I haven't been doing too well. Things are getting worse.

You see, I am not typical. Most people eat and journal when they are upset. I can do neither. It is difficult here just writing this little FYI. My words are jumbled in my head and it is hard to say clearly what I want to say. I have hit the backspace button so many times already in this "entry".

I have written about some problems in the past. However, when things are particularly serious, I don't feel comfortable blogging about it.

Anyway, if you don't see me on for a while, this is why. I don't know that I will be gone at all, but if I am, I just want you to know that it isn't forever.

Thursday Thirteen #14 - Anniversary Edition

Yesterday marked the first anniversary of this blog. So, today starts year #2. I decided that in honor of that, I would use TT to highlight my favorite posts in this blog from the past year. This is MY favorites, not necessarily the best.

Before I get to that, I am also proud to announce that my new blog (the spiritual one) was launched yesterday. Quite by accident, both my blogs have the same anniversary date a year apart. What is pathetic is that I first started talking about writing a new blog way back in November. Well, better late than never.

Okay, the thirteen favorite blog entries over the past year (in no particular order):

1. Ode to My Mother, Part I and Ode to My Mother, Part II
These were important to me for obvious reasons. My mom is the best!

2. TT #5 - Random Childhood Memories
I like this one because it was writing. I don't know really how to explain that, but those of you who relish writing will know what I mean. I also liked the trip.

3. Self Examination
I liked this one because it was relevent. That was one thing I thought I was missing. Besides, it made a mermaid cry.

4. TT #4 - 2007 Predictions
I went out on a limb here and already I don't look too stupid - thanks to Anna Nicole Smith (RIP).

5. American Idol Judges Biased Against Christianity
This one has substance and I took a chance that some would think I was ridiculous. Fortunately, those that did kept it to themselves. :)

6. An Unlikely Meeting
I liked this because it was my hand at fiction. I think this was the only post of its kind on my blog. I should try something like this again.

7. Griffey
A sentimental favorite. I miss my buddy.

8. Christmas, Think About It
This was important to me. It is this kind of post that will find its way to my other blog.

9. Worn Out
I can't put my finger on it, but I just liked this one. It was satirical and I was able to vent a little. Or, maybe it was the picture I chose. :)

10. TT #13 - A Lost Art
I actually thought there was humor in this one and that was important to me at the time (and now).

11. This and That
I am not sure why I like this one either, but I do. Maybe because of the spontanaety of it.

12. Depression
This was a needed post. I felt that my entries were too fluffy at the time. Plus, this just needed to be addressed.

13. TT #7 - Celebrity Crushes
I liked this one because it set the record for the amount of feedback I got. Plus, it irritated Two Right Hands that I got so much feedback on a fluff piece. I also liked finding the pics of my old, out-of-reach flames.

I did notice that most of my favorites are pretty recent. Maybe I WAS just having a bad day the day I lamented my crappy blog.

No, Not Just a Bad Day

The past few days I have been considering my blog and not liking what I see. I have considered myself a writer; that’s why I started it. I have always believed that I had something to say. I wanted my blog to help give me the discipline to write a few times per week and to give me an outlet to speak my heart and mind.

But look at it. I don’t say anything. I still have plenty to say; I have just chosen to not say it. Instead, I have indulged myself by whining about my marriage, playing around with Thursday Thirteen, or some other piece of drivel designed to pander and not offend. Somewhere, I have decided to cater to you guys or to keep it relatively safe when it comes to topics.

Last week, I set two personal pageload records back to back. I just don’t know why. I want to ask you why you keep tuning in, but I don’t want to come off like I am begging for compliments, because I am not. Getting a “this should make him feel better about his blog” comment would do more harm than good, I suspect.

I am a writer, damn it! Yet, my blog won’t back me up on this claim. I know it doesn’t.

I thought my blog would be funnier. I have had at least a half dozen people tell me throughout my life that I was the funniest person they knew. Where is that guy now? Over the years, I have lost some comedic qualities. They surface from time to time (rarely in my blog), but it isn’t like it used to be. I guess real life has tainted me.

It is like I have been a victim of a heinous crime. Some evil syndicate has sent agents to distract me with life while other operatives come and steal my humor, voice, and relevance.

I don’t know what will become of this blog. I am not going to quit, but it will be hard for it to remain the same. It is not like I want a new gimmick or meme (hate that word). Actually, it is quite the opposite. I just want to grow a couple so I will actually say what I want to say.

Stay tuned.