Samuel Clements (a.k.a. Mark Twain) has an often referred to quote of "The news of my death is greatly exaggerated." I thought I would devote this post on that very subject.
Last week I wrote an entry called "Death." It had the most feedback of any single post I ever had. Most of it was how I would be missed if something ever happens to me - which was nice to read. Then I came upon this piece of feedback from TheWriteJerry, "You're kind of freaking me out. Seriously. You've had us worried as it is with posts hinting at troubles at home and troubles inside of you. Now a post about your death. Stop being so vague. Please. Let us help."
At first I was taken aback. I didn't know if he was hinting that I may be hinting about comitting suicide or something or if I was being dramatic about some diagnosis I had recently received.
Then, I thought about what it would take for me to leave feedback like that and I felt, pardon the cheese, cared about. So, I want to say publicly: Thanks Jerry, for caring about me.
Maybe others thought the same thing but didn't want to say anything. I re-read my post and thought it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that this stranger could be hinting at something tragic. I know some know me better than that, but it is foolish to think that all of you do.
For the record, I am not suicidal and I do not have some condition that is pointing to my death - that I know of. I am going to be around for a long time as far as I know.
I am not suicidal because I am nevercompletely hopeless. My Christian faith is grounded by the fact that my purpose here isn't completed until God takes me out of here. I also understand the blessing of suffering. I may whine about it, but I would never end it by ENDING IT. Part of me that hides beneath the melancholia is excited to see how God is going to lead me through it and present the blessing to me. I am not suicidal and am fundementally not spiritually built to carry it out. Let's put that concept to rest forever.
If I ever become gravely ill, I will post it in a "not so vague manner". A lot of you consider me friends; I respect that relationship too much to play with such a dire matter.
As for the last little tidbit from Jerry's feedback, "Let us help." NOW, you're talking! ;) I figure if I can raise $20,000, it will take care of almost every problem I have. It would get me out of student loan debt and the debt I incurred from the wedding and take the pressure off my suddenly unemployed spouse. So dig deep, friends! Help me just as Jerry requested! Show me the love! lol Today is the day! Why? BECAUSE IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!