Something Wrong With Facebook

It has to be talked about. It is taking over our lives!  

What's wrong with Facebook?  How much time do you have?  There are a lot of things that I could talk about.  A lot of people gripe about its internet security issues. I, myself, refuse to download the Facebook message app to my phone because of all the crazy access it wants.

Then there is the whole changing culture thing that it shares with Twitter.  We are so ADD as a species now that if we can't say something in 140 characters  most people won't even mess with us.  I have discussed with friends how that mentality has put a damper on the whole blogging culture.

HEY!!  I am not done yet!!  Bear with me!! I will try to be brief!

No, today I will talk about the whole insipid commands for us to "like something or share something or else" nonsense that we are inundated with.  What is that all about?  " 'Like' this if you are against animal cruelty."  " 'Share' this if you love your mom."  Really?  I can't love my mom or detest animal cruelty if I don't play your game?  I am halfway scared to find someone picketing my house!

It is like being caught up in a Seinfeld episode.  Remember when Kramer didn't want to wear the ribbon on the AIDS walk?

WALKER #1: Hey, where's your ribbon?
KRAMER: Oh, I don't wear the ribbon.
WALKER #2: Oh, you don't wear the ribbon? Aren't you against AIDS?
KRAMER: Yeah, I'm against AIDS. I mean, I'm walking, aren't I? I just don't wear the ribbon.
WALKER #3: Who do you think you are?
WALKER #1: Put the ribbon on!
WALKER #2: Hey, Cedric! Bob! This guy won't wear a ribbon!
BOB: Who? Who does not want to wear the ribbon?

It's madness, I tell ya!  But that isn't all of it?  You also have to throw in the personal element.  Your friends lose their minds if you don't "like" or comment on something they put up. "What's wrong, you don't like my cat?" 

I would be tempted to reply, "Yeah, a helluva lot more that I like you right now.  Your cat doesn't have inane expectations of me and define our relationship

with them."

Facebook behavior is so predictable, too.  I can guess about 40% of you are thinking, "If you don't like Facebook, then you don't have to be on it!"  No, I don't  have to, but then how would I know how many people will end up liking this blog post?

God's Will vs Free Will: Epilogue

Part IV and Final Chapter of the Process of Prayer

I must say that I am a little relieved that this is the last in the series about God and Prayer.  I have learned that this has been more for me than anyone reading it.  It has gotten pretty personal and like the song from Anna Nalik called Breathe puts it:

 And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

I wouldn't write it for everyone to see if I didn't have some kind of hope that at least one person can get something out of it.  I may never know.

At the end of my last post, I was kind of at a spiritual crossroads.  To refresh your memory, or catch up, you can find it here:  Part III of the Series

No one wanted to walk away from God more than I did.  My position was that I put God and His existence to the test and He failed miserably.  If I can take that and write Him off in "Ostrich Paradigm" fashion, I can still make the best of this life.

No more would I have to yield my life to a myth's idea of morality.  There was a freedom there that I could sniff out even through the heavy stench of grief.  I was on my last legs before; now the God-myth just took my legs out from me.  Well, this was going to be the last time!

However, something funny happened on the way to the Evolution lecture. God was still there. I can't really explain it.  It wasn't this cool, "I'm with you even in your sorrow" kind of presence.  It was just this ubiquity that I couldn't escape but wanted to quite badly. So now, not only could I not break away from the God myth, I had to face the reasons why God, Himself, didn't care enough to honor my prayers. I wasn't angry with Him, just hurt and confused. The account of that struggle is for another time, if ever. 

It took me weeks to allow myself to think about it very much.  Sure, I vented to a few people I thought might understand . . . I think I was wrong about that, by the way.  I finally just had to concede that I don't know why things happened the way they did, I just have to accept that it did and that either way, God isn't going anywhere.

In the light of all this, what is prayer all about, then?  It is how we commune with God.  I think it is that simple. 

It isn't about petition or a list for Santa, although there isn't anything necessarily wrong with that.  It isn't about flowery speech.  It isn't about showing others that you are well versed in God-speak. It IS about connecting, venting, having fellowship, and even having conversations with the ONE that created the Universe but still has time enough for you.  If you ask God for specific things, it may not turn out the way you want. Things have to satisfy His overall will.  Yes, I recognize that this looks like a cop out, but it is what it is no matter the appearance.

I do now believe that God answered my prayer. No, He didn't answer it the way I wanted Him to, of course. If I am to be honest, in a practical sense I was praying for immortality for my mother.  That wasn't going to happen no matter how much favor I might have had with Him. What He did do was give me more time with her than perhaps I would have had under normal circumstances.  He gave me additional weeks of stroking her hair, kissing her cheeks and telling her how much I loved her.  He even gave me a few "I love you's" from her to me. It still hurts too much to be grateful, however.

It is tough to make sense of this "God's will" thing and the intersection of His love for us and His desire to give us what we pray for. To understand God's will, it might be easier to first look at the story of us backwards.

". . . and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4

At this point, we must allow ourselves to redefine the word "almighty".  God is not almighty in the sense most of us think He should be.  Blasphemy, yes?  That is okay; I also voted for Obama so I am used to being on the outs with my Christian brothers and sisters.  But to clarify, His essence is almighty but not necessarily His practice.  He is bound by His nature. God IS His nature (see: forms, Plato).  He is truth.  He is just.  He is righteous. He is love. In other words, to visit an old, well known logic puzzle: Can God make a stone so heavy that even He cannot lift it?  The answer is, of course, yes.  If God says that He can't lift it, then He can't.  He would be bound by His own word that he can't lift it.

One thing that God is bound by is his gift of free will to man.  You don't have to be a believer to see that the will of man has really messed things up on this planet.  So, you have man's free will vs God's will in our day to day lives but we know it all has to end up like the passage from Revelation that I listed above.

The best way I have ever been able to understand this concept is an example I heard from a teacher years ago.  He used the example of a chess master.  I can remember when Bobby Fisher or Boris Spassky would put on these chess exhibitions by playing hundreds of people at the same time.  Each contender would make a move and the master would make a counter move and then step to the next table, make that move, and then to then next one, the next one, etc., until he made it all the way around and was ready to make his second move against player number one and so on.  At the end of the day, the master always won every game.  Each player had the free will to move wherever he wanted each time.  However, at the end of it all the master satisfied his own will by incorporating the wills of all he played in the process.

God allows us to exercise our free will, but in the end, Revelation 21:4 will be satisfied. Like any good father, he does what he can to please us, but not to the point where He defeats what must be.  This process can be very painful for us as it has been for me and that has to be okay.

And after all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

--Mac Powell, Third Day - Mountain of God

Of course, this is how I understand this concept right now.  I can't pretend to understand God's true nature and how He really operates as a matter of undisputed fact.  I am just a frail human being that longs to understand things that are always going to be above my pay level.  For any definite wisdom that I have in understanding these things, I must borrow from another Greek philosopher, Socrates.  My wisdom rests on knowing that I really don't know anything.  However, most never make it that far.

The Faulty Lighter: Trying to Use Prayer to Light the the Dark Path Between Faith and Atheism

Part III in the Series of the Process of Prayer

I never knew what interest or effect this little blog series may have on anyone that reads it. Truthfully, I still don't know.  I suspect that it is considered slightly amusing and . . . "what's on TV?"  I knew there was an element out there that wouldn't appreciate my last submission about Atheism.  I received a few arguments against it, but they were mostly arguments of semantics which really didn't change the overall theme.  I actually relate to people that do not believe or no longer believe in God.  Their doubts and reasons do not escape me.  That is what this particular post is about.

I have always believed in God.  I wouldn't say "indoctrinated" because most of the time, I was the only one in my family that went to church. As I think back on the beginnings of my spiritual life, I return to age two or three. My oldest sister would load us into her car and take us to a modest Baptist church in my hometown. We went every week until she got a job at a burger joint and wrecked church for the rest of us. My mother and father never went to church for their own reasons, but they both believed in God and encouraged the kids to go.

All I can remember from my early church experience is that Jesus loved me. Somehow, as a small child, I grasped that. I even had a grasp of who Jesus was. Thinking back, it seems kind of supernatural because a ton of adult church-goers still do not really understand who He is. But I guess that is why Jesus told us all to come to Him as little children.  Little children don't have to understand every grain and fiber; they just believe.

Later as a boy, I remember going to church alone on a big orange church bus.  Oftentimes, my dad would pick me up after the service.  Throughout my childhood, I developed this sense of morality that has stayed with me throughout my life - even in times of doubt. Trust me; there was plenty of times of doubt.

As I got older, my curiosity grew.  I wanted to know more about God, but I also wondered if He was really real.  Many times if I got fearful about something, I thought about whether or not there was nothing there or nothing after death.  It is funny what fear and other emotions do to our thoughts and beliefs.

There were times in my life - college, grad school, and a time of independent study thereafter (i.e. unemployment) that I developed my  propensity for being analytical.  During that time of independent study, I just poured over books, the Bible, anything that I could find that attempted to shed light on God or lack thereof. I was as objective as I could be because I was more interested in truth than validation.  At some point, I felt more and more that I could "prove" the existence of a Christian God - at least from a "legal" standpoint.  When I say "legal," I am saying that if you gathered a group of people, neutral on spirituality, I believed that I could convince them that the Judeo/Christian God did indeed exist.

Despite that conclusion, I still had times of doubt.  After all, legal proof isn't the same as scientific (observable and testable) proof.  We have all seen in our legal system innocent people being convicted, so there is always room for doubt - rightly or wrongly.

In my adult life, I have had experiences of strong communion with God - to the point where it has been conversational.  During those times, there was not any room for doubt.  Other times, the power of the communal memories were chased away with skepticism- sometimes explainable but other times, not so much.

My marriage and divorce was one phase of trying times for my faith.  I felt betrayed by God - not only because I felt I was obedient in the concept of even marrying her when I did (I didn't feel like the timing was prudent), but also seeing the chance of having children of my own come and go.  You can read about that here: Open Letter to God and here: Endings . . .,  if you are so inclined.  Doubt increased but never took me over.  I came out on the other side with my faith legs intact but with unsteady knees.  I didn't know how much more my spirit could take, however. Plus, during that time, the world and the people around me were pushing more and more the concepts found in Atheism.  Still, I stood and walked.

Then, came to the spiritual struggle of my life with the health and passing of my mother.  My mother was also my best friend, and in a sense, my child.  She was dependent on me and I was honored to take care of her. It was her affection that got me through the whole marriage/divorce debacle. Back in February, my mother had an incident that changed her health and ultimately caused her to depart this world - an incident that should not have happened.  I am not going to go into all the details, but she was healthier than I had seen her in years right before this incident happened.

Over the next several weeks and months, I went through a spiritual transformation.  My prayer life changed.  I spent every morning in the shower praying - and I am talking LONG showers.  Sure, my mother got plenty of time in this new prayer life, but I noticed me praying a lot more for other people.  Some were prayer requests, but many were just people that were on my heart.  Not only that but I spent a lot of time on my knees or prone in my prayers.

But more than that, my whole life changed.  I have always been somewhat of a prude, but little things like exaggerations and resentments over others' bad driving gave me conviction.  I was as "holy" as I could picture any human could be.  I did this, not as part of some bargain I believed I was striking up with God, but as a person that was being convicted of falling short.  There was a driving, internal force that just didn't want anything separating me from God who was hearing prayers for my mom and others.  I remember having the fleeting thoughts from time to time that I am not sure if my faith could survive something happening to my mom - especially when my heavenly father, Abba (which translates to something like "daddy") sees my heart and my desire to please Him and save her.

Over that time, my mom slowly made progress.  She was able to be weaned off the respirator, was able to have a few mini-conversations with me, and was supposedly ready for rehab.  In rehab she struggled with alertness but her vitals were strong and all her levels were healthy.  Then, out of the blue, one June morning she was gone.  We were shocked.  Can you guess what happened to my faith?

The final installment of this series will deal with conclusions about God and prayer. You can find it here.

The Mystery of Prayer

This is the first in a series of blog posts that asks the hard questions about the process of prayer.

"Pray BIG prayers. God can do anything. If what you request is best - that's exactly what He'll do." 

A local pastor, whom I respect and admire, posted that on Facebook the other day. I can understand what he is saying and I can agree with it to a certain point.  However, it does open a few cans of worms, doesn't it? If you look at through the lens of a flow chart, it becomes problematic.

So, what we have here is a situation where God will answer your prayer if it is the best thing for His purposes, or He won't if it isn't.  In that case, it stands to reason that if you don't pray, God will just do what is best for His purposes - just without your input.  This begs the question:  Why pray?

You hear a lot of pastors say that prayer isn't to get God on board to giving you your desires and requests.  No, they say, prayer is to get you on board with God's.  I surely believed that. "God, align my will with yours," I would say. That is a dandy approach when you are wondering about that promotion or if you are pondering that new car.  If you don't get that promotion, then God has something better for you - even if that "better" isn't tangible in your life.  I could accept that.  However, when your 4-year old is hit by a car and dies after three days of prayer in the ICU, that is a little harder to reconcile.

Think about it; "God align my will with yours. Thank you for not answering my prayer about the promotion.  I have excited expectancy for what you have in store for me instead!"  Yes, that is palatable.  However, can you honestly pray, "God, thank you for allowing my child to get hit by a car and die.  I know that is "the best" thing that could have happened to fulfill your purpose."  Of course not.  The best we can muster is, "God, I don't know why my child had to die, but I trust you in this heart-wrenching time to lead me through it and I have the hope that I will reunite with my baby again someday."  If we are to be honest, that position is hardly asking God to align our wills with His, is it? 

That brings us back to the central question: If God is just going to do what He is going to do anyway, why pray?  Sure, we have the chance to see God answer our prayer.  That is rewarding.  However, we also have a chance to see God stand back and watch us suffer and hurt while knowing full well He could have prevented it. At best, to pray or not to pray is a push at this level.

There is another possibility that I haven't mentioned.  It could be that God ordains you achieving that goal IF you humble yourself and pray. Yes, it is a possibility.  However, what kind of person considers flow charts and probabilities to determine whether or not to pray to God for help - especially when God is synonymous with love, grace and mercy?   The answer is the kind of person that is hurting, confused, or having a crisis of faith.  That would qualify almost all of us at one time or another.  There must be a better way to get a handle on the process of prayer.

NEXT POST, PART TWO OF THE MYSTERY OF PRAYER

Non Health Care, Real Estate Woes, and Death

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - I heard a despicable ad about health care reform recently. It was so twisted and deceptive. Insurance companies will do anything to scare people away from their profits. Why so many protect the interest of companies that depend on finding ways to deny folks health care in order to maximize profits, I will never know. I guess we get what we deserve. Now, this latest health care bill is useless. The Republicans do not want any bill at all, and mainstream Democrats just want SOMETHING at this point. However, the SOMETHING will cause more harm than good. Without a public option or a medicare buy-in, this bill will require everyone to buy insurance from insurance companies without controlling the cost. Instead of holding insurance companies accountable, this bill will give it a boon! Everyone hear deserves blame. Republican Congress for not caring about the health care of its constituents and poisoning their weak-minded, puppet followers, the Democratic Congress for compromising everything this reform was suppose to accomplish just so they can say they did something, and the president for not showing the leadership to see something good through!

ENTERTAINMENT - Dexter on Showtime is one of the most original and well written television programs that I have ever seen. It is more than a show about a serial killer. It is about the darkness of the human spirit and the search for normalcy among the shrieking cries of the soul. It is scary to think about, but there is a Dexter in all of us.

WRITING - As you can see, I am trying to resurrect this blog. It is hard because everyone in my blog community (save a couple) are no longer blogging. It appears that I am a man in the wilderness again.

SPIRIT - I have mixed feelings about this today. I am glad that I am not alone, yet I feel alone. I have had a tide of bad luck lately. I don't believe God is a genie that bombards us with material gifts and good fortune. I also know that hard times is a gift of sorts, because it improves the spirit and character. However, even "good things" such as these lessons are bad in excess.

FAMILY - My family has been getting more distant from each other. Individual problems and interests have broken off contact. I hate it. We used to have the best holiday get togethers. This year, for Thanksgiving, I took my mom and sister out to eat. Pathetic. Now, they want me to host Christmas. I don't want to for a ton of reasons, but I bet I will. Someone has to do something!

LOVE - Love takes a holiday - and leaves me behind. It is weird to approach the holidays without someone. Last year was my first Christmas season without my wife. My emotions were still such a train wreck that I couldn't even think about it much, just react - negatively. This year is different. I can meditate on how much it sucks!

ANGUISH - Is this part even necessary this time? See the rest of this post for this part.

SPORTS - My Bengals are in first place. That would be good, if A) they weren't playing so poorly as the playoffs approach; and B) one of their good young players hadn't died yesterday in an incident involving falling out of a moving truck. Sheesh! RIP, Chris Henry.

HOME - as per our agreement, I am getting nearer to closing on the house my ex-wife and I lived in. I am buying it from her. In the meantime, the person living at my other house has apparently stolen power from the utility company and now I am facing THAT bill in addition to not having power during the winter months there!

So, how are you?

Socialism, Different Strokes for Different Folks

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
__________________________________________

It has been a while since I had my old trusted NEWS FLASH.  There is no way I am going to be able to catch up.  That, I trust, will come about slowly over time.  However, I will take more of a snapshot of what is going on right now.

NEWS - For those of you with a memory, it won't be surprising to know that healthcare reform is the topic I would choose to cover in this segment.  President Obama, who promised reform, cannot emphasize enough that for those people satisfied with their insurance and healthcare, they don't have to change anything.  However, the public is getting pelted with scare tactics about (shutter) SOCIALISM!! (pardon me while I go lock the doors!). Not only is he not talking about a single-payer system like the backward, third world countries like France and Great Britain have, he is just trying to get everyone covered with an affordable plan.  However, since socialistic medicine is so bad, I think I am going to get my mother off Medicare since that is what IT is.  Plus, maybe I should lead a crusade to get all of the socialistic things out of our society.  Join with me while I opt out of police and fire protection in addition to shredding my library card.  Sheesh!  In insurance companies we trust!

ENTERTAINMENT - My latest guilty pleasure is Fear.net.  It is on my cable system as a free on-demand option.  These movies are great in some way.  They don't seem to be low-budget, but some of the acting is a little bad.  However, they are fun and entertaining.  I suggest Dee Snyder's Strangeland.  Snyder, best known as the front man from Quiet Riot, wrote, produced, directed, and starred in this thing.  Quite entertaining despite it being kind of . . . bad.

WRITING - Obviously, the blog is back.  I am still wrestling with opening it up to everyone.  Previously,  I had blog people, and real life people and never the two met.  My fear is that the worlds will collide or worse, I sensor some subject matter to spare people's feelings or sensitivities.  Just don't know . . .

SPIRIT - I am finding that I am a different person, spiritually, since my divorce.  I wouldn't say that I am weaker in faith, I just have a shift in priorities. As a matter of fact, I think my faith is stronger. I never felt I was a legalist (a person who strictly follows the rules for rules sake).  However, I am even less of one now.  I believe too strict a lifestyle retards communion with God.  In a since, following the rules becomes one's God.  So, I follow my inner conviction more, and fundemental teaching, less.  Of course, this may just be a phase I am going through as a part of healing.  I am open.

FAMILY - My sister had a major stroke last week.  It was quite a miracle, according to her physician (if you can believe that).  The doctor came in after reading her MRI and other test results and claimed to be dreading talking to the family because she expected my sister to be quite severely affected (perhaps even comatose or vegetative).  However instead, she was alert and conversing with us.  She is confused and has forgotten a lot of things, but she is far ahead of what the doctor expected.  He said, "People throw this word around too much, but this, indeed, is a miracle!"

LOVE - Love is never the same after a divorce.  There is fear and ego damage and an ever-guarded attitude.  I have seen a few people, but it is too soon to tell what is going to happen with the latest one.  I am really not completely sure about what I even want.

ANGUISH - I have been trying to buy the house I lived in with my wife.  She owned it before we married; it is in her name.  The bank (who presently shall remain nameless) had a good deal going for me.  Then, nothing!  I was supposed to close on May 15, but I haven't heard anything.  All my phone calls since then have been unanswered.  I stand to lose a great interest rate and a $200 application fee if this falls through.  I understand there is a deadline for the rate lock, but I am not sure what it is.  I am sure that if it expires, it isn't my fault.  There will be hell to pay.

SPORTS - Sadly, I was on hiatus during some of the best sports times.  We missed the Superbowl, and the Kentucky Derby and the fact that I was even present at the NASCAR Bristol Food City 500 and the Indianapolis 500 Time trials.  Well, I guess I covered it after all - sort of.

HOME - I finally have someone in that cursed house I need to get rid of.  He has the same deal the last guy had except a better one for him. What it is, is that he lives there at a VERY discounted rate in exchange for helping me improve the property for future sale.  The difference is that this guy comes recommended by someone that knows him well. He works in construction and apparently can do about anything. I am optimistic.  At some time in the future, I will address what happened to the last guy.  It is quite a story.

The Return of the Psycho or is it another False Positive?

I would like to think this is the beginning of a new era for my blog.  I miss blogging and expressing my frustrations, joys, and opinions.  I also greatly miss the exchanges with people that I learned to care about - those of you that would give a few precious moments of your lives just to see what might be on my mind.

I don't know if I would have ever stopped if I didn't really care if it was a decent post or not. I felt responsible for writing something that most people could tolerate reading.  When life became too tough, it was too much for me to be able to insure that.  So, I let it go.

I am not sure that I can let go of that blog value yet, but perhaps enough time has passed that I can at least satisfy my self-imposed standards and fire this puppy back up.  We will see.

When I do get this thing chuggin' along again, it has to start somewhere. It might as well be here.

Got a Hammer?

I really think I will be blogging more relatively soon. Life is REALLY getting in the way. There is one problem right after another that just consumes my concentration. It isn't the deep blows it used to be when I was closer to the divorce, but it is still mind-consuming - therefore keeping me busy.

I had in mind today to do one of my fun-type posts. I had one in mind, but yet another obstacle robbed me of that mood. I am not in a terrible mood, just a distracted one. It is like the blog gods just don't want me to move forward with this.

This blog reminds me of a house that one saved up for and moved into. It was new and exciting at first with plenty of ideas to do fun things with it. I was going to take out that one wall in the back and make a huge game room. I was going to add flooring in the attic and make that workout room.

However, like time, business and conflicts do to house dreams, they also did to this blog. I look at it and think: forget the game room, I just need to get the dripping faucet fixed. Workout room in the attic? Look at those gutters barely hanging on. I have to clean them out and re-attach them. Yep, this puppy has run down. No wonder the neighbors don't come by much anymore.

So, as I am standing out front and looking at this run-down blog, I know that I have to get busy on it. I think I will, just not at the pace I wanted to. One day, though . . . . one day, I will get that game room. You just wait!

Poof! Here I am!

I am interrupting this negligence for an important message: I am still alive and planning on posting soon. I have been moving and engaging in other time-consuming endeavors.

There is a lot of junk going on that needs to be settled, but other than that, I have never been better!

I am in the process of starting a project that will probably be the most important thing I have ever written. It isn't a blog piece, but something much bigger. Wish me luck and for God's sake, keep after me about it. It is pretty important.

I Knew the Risk when I Bought the Ticket

I received an email from a person that reads my blog. It was apologetic in nature, although I am not sure this person has anything for which to apologize. Still, I appreciated the sentiments in the email. The reader then vowed to not send anymore feedback unless I asked for advice. This stimulated my thinking trying to realize what I felt in regard to the whole blogging relationship and what goes on with bloggers and readers. I think there is an understood dynamic there that states that the blogger blogs and the readers comment. The vow of "silence" seems a bit out of place, although I appreciate the gesture. I do think that people should follow their own preference.

At any rate, here is the edited version of my response. I am including it as addendum to this comment I left two posts ago:

"I know some of you mean well with your tough love approach. However, to be quite honest with you, there is an appropriate time for that kind of help and it is usually after an appropriate grieving period takes place.

I promised myself that I wouldn't take it personally. That is why I removed those posts. However, as I am still working through it, I am sure I am going to post more of what is exactly on my mind. That will also include any feedback to your feedback. If it offends, do like me and don't take it personally. Depending on how life is for you now, you should be able to handle that better than I can.

In addition, the man up and get over it thing is filed away. I understand the point of view. Try this: wouldn't it be nice to think that you might be married to someone who takes his/her marriage as seriously as I do? Just a thought."

_________________________________________________________________

The following is just a follow up that was inspired by the email I mentioned at the top of the post:

First of all, I know that I am not the only one with problems. I am sorry for all the hardships that everyone has gone through. I know that I am not the only one that faces serious challenges. I hope that I didn't come off that way.

What I want to say now is not meant to be accusatory in nature. It is a general statement about how I feel about some comments that I have read not anyone's particular comments, per se. I am really not interested in who said what and I am not really sure about it now, anyway. This may not even apply to you at all.

I don't mind comments. I don't even mind advice. The only thing that hurts is advice that sounds cold and unhelpful. There is an old bit by comedian Steve Martin. He states, "I can teach you to have a million dollars and not have to pay taxes on it. First, get a million dollars."

Some "advice," in particularly the "man up" - tough love advice, is just like that. Sometimes, directions to a destination must start out with "you can't get there from here." This is one of those times. The "man up" advice just perpetuates to someone who is struggling and already feels like a failure to feel EVEN MORE like one. It tends to make one remove everything from the whole conversation because even more feelings of failure just can't be endured at the moment.

However, there are other comments that are encouraging and supportive. Even though no solution is offered, the "being there" feeling is sometimes enough to get someone through another minute in the day. Sometimes, that is all one can hope for.

That is really all there is to it. It is not for me to say how anyone should comment and that isn't my intention. I have no rules for my blog. Actually, I have been fortunate that I seldom get an overtly hateful comment. I know others of you have. Comment any way you want and I will deal with it the only way I can. Thank you for being patient with me.
________________________________________________________________

I also want to thank Jaquandor (who was not the emailer in question listed above) for reminding me of the value of REAL blogging (my term, not his). He even gave me an award for it. Thank you, Jaquandor.

Evansville and Bad Presidents

After Further Review . . .

I decided not to apply for the editorial board for the local newspaper this year. I blame you guys because not one of you suggested any of my posts for submission as writing samples. I just assumed that it wasn't worthy. Nah, just kidding. Actually, I tried to edit down some of my better posts to the 450 word requirement and it really butchered the "art" out of it - and I use that word loosely. If I would have had more time, I may have been able to figure it out, but other things in life demanded too much of my time and energy to muck with it any farther than I did. There is always next year.

* * *

My worst president poll shows some interesting results. So far, 19 of you voted and "W" is running away with it as expected. However, coming in a not-so-distant second is FDR. He was certainly a polarizing figure. Most people my mother's age and older that I have talked to would vote for him as the BEST president ever. These folks praise FDR for bringing them out of the Great Depression. His "New Deal" program put folks back to work and put food back on their plates.

Others, usually those that did not live through the Great Depression, despise him. They blame him for the "welfare state", big government, and starting the country down the road of debt.

My personal belief is that FDR and his policies were appropriate for the time. All history now is revisionist so it is hard to get an accurate picture. Whether the "New Deal" helped to end the depression is open to question. However, it did inspire hope and that is sometimes enough. I believe that he also managed WWII well, and should be praised for that. On the flip side, he did usurp the power of the presidency in a way that cleared the way for future abuse (read: Bush, George W). I guess no one's perfect.

* * *

I am getting more surfers from my hometown now. This is a result of my membership with VerveEarth. This is a site where you can find blogs that "represent" your area. Because of this, I am going to make my blog a little more Evansville, IN (and tri-state area) relevent. However, it will be just a little more locally relevent. It will not lose the flavor it has always had.

* * *

I am going to reveal Psychosomatic Wit's favorite song for each year for the past 40 years. The first year will be 1968 and will be included in the next post. If anyone knows where there is a site that anyone can listen to a song that I can either imbed or provide a link to, let me know. People should, at least, get a chance to hear it.

* * *

Why is it that some people think that they must back into their driveways or in parking spots at businesses. This practice bothers me to no end. I mean, I do know there is times when it is necessary or overly convenient. For instance, I back in my mother's drive when I am taking her with me. It shortens the distance that she has to travel from the door to the car (she is disabled). However, some folks just do it all the time for no apparent reason almost like think it is "cool" or something. One could argue that it is easier to leave, etc., but I think the ease of leaving doesn't make up for the trouble of arriving. Plus, usually someone has to wait for the yahoo to stop and back into the drive. It just drives me nuts!

Read Any Good Books Lately?

I have been tagged by someone (I am sorry, I can't find who it was) to do a book meme. It involves a book I am currently reading.

Here are the rules:

1. Grab the nearest book. If you are currently reading something, that'll be fine too.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your Blog along with these instructions.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet I know that is what you were thinking!

6. Tag 5 people.

Here is the passage:

"I don't know when I have ever been so tired in my life. I can't even imagine how Gran holds up because I can barely move. All of us look as though we have been endlessly ill. Even little Alex is dragging."

This passage is from Go Ask Alice, by Anonymous. The book is interesting, but the story behind the book is probably more interesting. Back in the early 1970's, when it was published, it was classified as a work of nonfiction - a diary account of a 15-year-old girl's account of life and drug abuse. However, there has been some controversy whether or not this is accurate. Since then, it is considered a work of fiction.

Beatrice Sparks is the editor (and many think the author) of the book. She is a psychologist and youth counselor who supposedly constructed the diary from a patient of her's. She admits to adding some things that were not in the original patient's diary, but were based on the patient's counseling sessions. No one, but Sparks, really knows the truth. Sparks has published subsequent diaries with similar subject matter attributed to anonmymous patients of hers. At any rate, it is a quick and interesting read. Despite the controversy, or perhaps because of it, it continues to be a best seller.

Okay, before I tag folks, I want to, with hat in hand, ask which one of you tagged me with this. I am so ashamed. If you are the one, and you can put the link to your page where the tag lies, I will edit this and give your blog a plug. So please ???

I am going to tag . . . (watch me tag the person who tagged me like a dork):

Meg at Confessions of an Impulsive Liar (although I don't expect her to respond very soon because she is getting married this weekend - Congratulations Meg! My invitation must have been lost in the mail, by the way ;) ), Mother Hen, Brian at The Office (blog), Charles at Am I Thinking That?, and Chris at Inane Thoughts.

Okay, if any of you have done this before, but it has been a while, DO IT AGAIN! I did once before back in November of '06. Surely you are on another book by now! ;)

Sayre: Psychosomatic Wit is Excellent

I think about this blog a lot - probably too much. I had an idea about what I wanted this blog to be before I started it. It is not that. However, I have more information about blogs and what they are and can be now - knowledge that I didn't have then. I like my blog. I like this community. Still, I am conflicted.

I did NOT want this blog to be a diary. I did NOT want to filter my opinions. I had no clue that a community would develop that I would care about. This causes me to want to be careful to not offend others' opinions. I believed that I would be writing to strangers about my opinions and insights about the world around us. Some would agree; others would disagree. I didn't care as long it was interesting and discussion inspiring. Plus, I thought my blog would be somewhat humorus.

So what is my blog? It is a little diary, a little opinion/insight and really not so funny. For some reason, some people like it and that humbles me. I am sure it will continue to evolve, but I think for the most part, it is what it is. It has its own identity. It lives, breathes, cares, and reacts to you - all of you - even the lurkers. Thanks for being a friend of the psycho!

_________________________________

Sayre from SayreSmiles has given me the honor of having an excellent blog. She should know, she has an excellent one, herself.

I must now pick blogs that qualify as excellent. This is both easy and hard. It is easy because there are many excellent blogs out there. It is hard, because choosing is ALWAYS hard. I also do not want to duplicate other picks. Here we go:

Jod{i} at Looking Beyond the Cracked Window has an excellent blog. She often gets deep and lets her thoughts dictate her posts in an unbridled manner. Somehow it always has a way of making sense and makes me ponder life from her perspective.

Another great blog is Am I Thinking That. Charles has such a sincere blog - kind of like Linus' pumpkin patch. He uses his blog to learn about life from himself and his readers. Its uniqueness like that keeps me coming back.

Stephanie (a.k.a. HollyGl) has a relatively new blog called Meaningful Malarchy. Normally, I wouldn't think to put a new blog up, but only the blog is new. Stephanie has been a masterful blogger for a while. She is sensitive, caring, and quite a find.

Crow's Feet is another blog that is worthy of this award. Michelle uses her uncommon understanding of the spiritual to shape her blog. She is also very caring and that translates to a warmth when reading her blog.

Meg, as far as I know, is not REALLY a liar. However, her blog Confessions of a Compulsive Liar is excellent. Meg captures her present drama surrounding her family, upcoming nuptuals, and of course, the office. If she is a compulsive liar and made the whole thing up, she is darn good at it!

Emily is the one that got me started blogging. She even tweaked this blog for me so it would look better than some lame, blogger-supplied template. Her blog, Two Write Hands is one of the best things out there in blogland. Emily has a way of making her readers sincerely care about her and her life. Remember her name; she will undoubtedly be famous some day!

Chris at Inane Thoughts has a great blog. It covers everything from food recipes to martial arts - but mainly just life itself. It is also good to get a man's perspective since blogging seems to be a primarily female endeavor.

Another male blog of note is Byzantium's Shores. Kelly's blog covers a ton of different topics. He talks of sports (particularly Buffalo sports), literature, movies, and other blogs. Not only that, he posts quite often so there is ALWAYS something fresh. Excellent blog!

Kristarella is a Christian scientist from Australia. Need I say more when it comes to interesting? She blogs about a lot of things and even has a photo blog. Check her out!

And finally something different: Rodger Johnson is Your PR Guy. This blog is more of a business-oriented blog exploring different aspects and strategies for public relations. The reason this blog is interesting is that its content targets US! It is an excellent blog to see how companies approach its marketing and relations with the buying public. Maybe you can pick up some tips for making your blog more popular.

There are other great blogs out there that I read. Many just as deserving as those I listed. It is a great blog world out there! Go read it!

Fundie Mormons, Blog Debates, and Cardell McFarland

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:



News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

It is time again for another version of what is going on in Jeff's head. I guess the first thing that is going on is that he is referring to himself in the third person - just kidding. I did make another revision in the whole NEWS FLASH format. "W" no longer designates "work." Now it stands for "writing." Work is just too boring to refer to every time. If something exciting happens, I can work it into some other category or just make a post devoted to it.

NEWS - I didn't really want to comment on the FLDS (Fundemental Latter Day Saints) church, but it just won't go away in the news, will it? Now it comes to the attention of the public through the media that a majority of the teenage girls that were taken from the compound were either pregnant or already mothers. I don't feel the need to comment on that particular aspect. I am sure that everyone has their own feelings about it. Instead, I will just state that not only do I feel sorry for the girls whose childhood was robbed from them, but I also feel sorry for the mainstream Mormon church and really, all religions in general. We all have taken a beating from the events surrounding Eldorado, Texas.

Unfortunately for him and his supporters, but it is my guess that Mitt Romney can forget about any vice-presidential ambitions now. Society loves the concept of "guilty by association", even if that association is nonexistant for any practical purpose.

ENTERTAINMENT - CBS's Big Brother is now over for this cycle. It was more satisfying this year than last. The last two standing this time were two likeable guys. Where last year, the last two were the the two one would LEAST want to win (with apologies to Evel Dick), it resulted that there was apathy over the final show of the cycle. This year, most people were satisfied with whoever won in the last episode. I guess the only thing more satisfying is if a desirable is up against an undesirable and the desirable wins. Maybe next time.

WRITING - Apparently, I am still blogging. I am torn between being overly nice in debating situations, or just let 'em rip. I have a lot of experience debating on some board sites where people are just brutal to one another. I am not for that at all. However, I do not mind a little edgy bantering as long as there are no PERSONAL attacks. Right now, I am stuck in limbo when it applies to this blog. Doggone it, I love a good debate!

SPIRIT - A lot of people who claim to be Christians do not act like it. I touched on this a bit with my last post - at least in the comment section. People should be recognized as Christian by the fruit they bear.

"The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable" -- Brennan Manning

FAMILY - We are having the big rummage sale this weekend. I am dreading it. It is quite an undertaking. It will help if we can move a bunch of stuff, though. I am having it at my house that I have been trying to sell. Wish me luck!

LOVE - Since the near divorce a few short weeks ago, things have been quite nice with my wife. It is really odd how life and marriage is in my world. I hope we turned the corner, but I have had that hope many times before. Hopefully, I can learn to trust her again. Hopefully, I will find good reason to.

ANXIETY - I don't want to mention driving again, but it is the first thing I always think of - you know the people that believe that traffic laws do not apply to them. Trying to keep five dogs quiet while feeding and letting them out at 5 am is right up there, too, for causing anxiety. The misbehaving kindergartners I tutor do their fair share of being grey hair causing agents. I guess right now, it is the upcoming rummage sale that has got my anxiety-filled attention this week.

SPORTS - A kid who went to my high school signed a national letter of intent to play basketball for Missouri State. Cardell McFarland has worked hard in a Maine prep school to make sure he was ready, both physically, and scholastically to play college basketball. Most didn't think he would ever play in college. So far, so good. I'm pulling for him. He could be a GREAT college basketball player. Remember his name!

HOME - As far as buying the "dream house" as mentioned in the last NEWS FLASH, wiser heads prevailed and we are passing on it. Fortunately for me, my wife caught a little wisdom herself so I avoided being the bad guy. We are definitely going to move, barring the marriage takes another hit, but we need more time and money. Doesn't everyone?

Do We Really Care?

A couple of weeks ago, I informed anyone who would "listen" that I would express my opinion on any topic that they desired. I did get some requests via email. Not long after that, drama ensued in my life leaving this little exercise on the back burner. However, me being the honor-my-commitments kind of guy, I am going to deal with one of them today. Since this request came via email, I can only assume that the sender wanted to remain anonymous. So he/she shall be in this post also.

The question of the day is: Do people STILL care about others today in this morally depraved world?

This question assumes that people, for the most part, did care for others and now there is not enough evidence to take that concept as a given. I am not prepared to concede that given, but I can leave that argument for another time (or you can draw your own conclusions based on this response).

One interesting thing about principles and rules is that there are always exceptions. Some even argue that the exception proves the rule. Thank God there may be exceptions to the rule I have discovered about caring people. There are some caring people out there; there must be! However, truly it is a rare thing. Often times, we read in the paper where someone did a very giving thing and helped out his fellow man at personal cost or inconvenience. It makes it in the paper or on the television news because it is unusual. If it weren't, it would be commonplace and hardly newsworthy. Because it makes it into the media, we have the reaction of, "see, there ARE good people in the world!" Alas, I must conclude, however, that the exception proves the rule - that rule being: For the most part, people do NOT really care about others.

Sure, people say they care. They may even believe, at some level, that they do care about others. We know, that talk is cheap and only by our actions can we really discover how caring we are. True active care and compassion just doesn't happen with much regularity. It takes a great deal of strength to put stated compassion into action. However, we are not as strong as we think we are. There have been many studies done on this. ABC's Primetime Live and/or 20/20 has shown hidden camera reports how most people ignore or avoid situations where perhaps God or even good morality would convict them to help a fellow human. People just don't want to put themselves out or risk their own safety to help others. No one is willing to sacrifice. They just can't get involved in something that won't benefit them in some way, much less, set themselves back. It just isn't done.

We are greedy. Oh, it isn't totally our fault, we grow up in a system that rewards greed - in fact, it glorifies it. Many believe that capitalism is a system sent by God. However, all it is really is dressed up greed. Today, it runs amok. Let the market decide! Well, the market decided that Walmart is our goods god, and Mom and Pop stores aren't worth our time or money. Guess what? Mom and Pop are humans trying to get by in this world. Who cares? We aren't going to pay an extra quarter to Mom and Pop as long as the Walton family has anything to say about it by offering "lower prices, everyday. Find us right next to the general store with the boarded up windows" No sacrifice. Greed. Greed by the Waltons. Greed by the consumer.

However, we cannot blame the Waltons nor our bad neighbors that won't patronize Mom and Pop anymore. We can't because greed is a disease. It permeates all of us. It is all we know and it is the consequence of a fallen world. We have to look out for Number One, don't we? Of course, we do! No one else will because of their own greed. We are forced to be greedy or risk ending up like Mom and Pop.

There are also other things that add to our selfishness. Fifteen percent of our population either suffers from depression now or has at some point in their lives. Depression is a selfish disease of the soul - the heart of what we are. When a person is in depression mode, they care nothing about nor even realize the needs of the people around them. If the depression does not act as a contageon (which often times it does), the selfishness that bathes in it will certainly be contageous - if for no other reason for suvival reasons. Depression is another result of the fall of mankind.

The opposite of greed and selfishness is sacrifice. We just don't. The world calls us foolish for sacrificing for others. The golden rule today isn't, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." No, it is do unto others FIRST, before they have a chance to do unto you." Make sure you get yours. Of course, some do sacrifice for others - their time, even money. However, often times it is a calculated move. Do you think that big corporations give to needy causes because they are good? Nope. They give because it looks good for them. That money comes straight out of their marketing budget. Plus, they get tax breaks on top of it. We, as individuals, get a payback for being kind to others in a different way. We do it because it gives us a good reputation. There also may be a monetary reward for our good deeds. Sometimes we do it so we can convince ourselves that we are good. There is not much more valuable to a human being than a well-placed ego stroke.

When I think of sacrifice, I think of Jesus. By all records, He didn't do ONE thing for his own interest. He dedicated His life in its entirety, including His death, for the direct benefit of others. Still, those who are Christians among us, praise Him, but act the opposite in our own lives.

Is it hopeless? It appears so in the big picture, but not so much in our individual lives. However, it takes effort. I sold my beloved truck to a neighbor for well below its value. He needed transportation to make a living (in a truck) and to take care of his wife who was in poor health. Am I tooting my own horn? Hardly. Not a day goes by when I get tempted to question my action because it kind of put me out. I have to force myself to believe it was the right thing to do sometimes. I must shamefully admit that the disease of self runs through my blood also. However, we can make the effort and choose to be caring and selfless. It is somewhat artificial because it is against our nature, but we can do it. That should give us hope that we CAN be the exception to this rule.

It, indeed, takes strength to pursue a life of caring for others - uncommon strength.

We are frail

We are fearfully and wonderfully made

Forged in the fires of human passion

Choking on the fumes of selfish rage

And with these our hells and our heavens

So few inches apart

We must be awfully small

And not as strong as we think we are

--Rich Mullins

No, we are not as strong as we think we are. But, perhaps there is hope.

The Blogging Dilemma

From time to time, most bloggers come to a blogging crossroads where they wonder if they should continue. After all, blogging eats up a lot of time and it is a kind of thankless, self-indulgent sort of undertaking, isn't it? I have been at this crossroad before, and opted to continue. Logic would have it that the more one encounters this crossroad, the more likely he will choose to end his blog. This is because deciding to continue from the last crossroads encounter got him back the place where he must question the intelligence of continuing.

Why would I end this journey now?

1. The first thing that comes to mind is that inevitably if one blogs about anything near and/or dear to anyone else, drama is bound to ensue eventually. It is very easy to have one's intentions misconstrued when there is only the written words. The Lord knows that I have been in pickles with friends of mine concerning emails in the past. I take full responsibility for stepping on others' toes when it is my writing that delivers the blow to the lower phalanges of my readers. It is rather stressful to have to think about it and worry about pre-screening when one is "in the zone." In my current state of mind, when it comes to blogging, I would rather give it up then hurt or upset people I have come to care about.

2. The popularity of this blog has dwindled in recent weeks. My technorati authority number is half of what it used to be, for example. I don't really think it is less interesting, but I wouldn't, would I? I think it has to do with me posting less frequently than I used to because my life is so chaotic right now. Not only am I blogging less, but I also have less time to read your blogs and comment. There is an obligatory element among the blog community that operates under the 'blog rule of reciprocity". This states that if you comment on mine, I will comment on yours. Stop coming to mine, don't look for me on yours. I would rather not participate in this kind of mentality. I read and comment on your blogs because I want to - when I find the time. There are many blogs I read and comment on from time to time and I NEVER hear from them here. It is a mutually exclusive relationship for me. Still, there is a definite pattern there that can't be ignored. I would like to think that this blog will bring readers and commenters because of its content, not because of the social rules of blog society. I guess we would all like to think this.

Why would I continue?

1. I guess blogging and my little corner of the blog community is a part of me now. I would miss it and you a lot.

2. I NEED to write. I haven't given up my dreams of writing bigger and better things. I endeavor to be a relevant writer. Blogging gives me an incentive to write regularly. That is important for a writer. Part of me thinks that if I stop here, I will eventually stop altogether. Another dream dead is a depressing thought, isn't it?

My Options

1. Obviously, I could quit. I really don't have time for a hobby anyway. Any of the 10,000 people over the past years wanting to buy my project car decaying in the back of my mother's driveway can attest to that.

2. I could quit THIS blog and start another one that is less personal and more controversial. I can learn to not care about what others think of me and concentrate on the issues. It would kind of leave the "community" aspect of the way blogging is for me now, but trade it in for this kind of thing.

3. I could just continue the way things are and chalk it up to the reality of the world of blogging.

I must admit that all three of these options are somewhat depressing which again brings up the question, "Really, what IS the point?" I wonder what you think. . .

Obama, American Idol, and Indiana Basketball

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:



News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

This NEWS FLASH for the last week of February! I have made a few minor changes to NEWS FLASH, very minor. First, as you may have noticed, NEWS FLASH is no longer the title. I decided to title it based on content so you will know some of the things I will be discussing. The other minor change is for the "Anxiety" section. I am now going to include pet peeves. I don't like to set my self up for having anxiety every blamed week. So . . .

NEWS - Last week, I mentioned that Barack Obama fits the description of the antichrist. It is not that I think that he is, he just fits the description. This week it is getting even more frightening. Saturday Night Live on NBC had a debate skit that kicked off the show. It was humorus, but the main point was that the media is giving Obama a pass on everything and actually is a little giddy concerning Obama's candidacy. The debate skit started with the moderator asking the first question to Obama, "Senator Obama, can I get you anything? Really, it is no problem at all?" Funny, but it makes the point. Prophesies have the antichrist with this kind of unrealistic adoration.

"Saturday Night Live", you may say, "is just a comedy show on TV. You can't judge stuff like that from a comedy show." Fair point, but try these on for size:

Obama made a trip to Africa and for whatever reason, put on African-Muslim dress. A picture surfaces and somehow it was unfair to share this picture with the masses? WHY? HE WORE THE OUTFIT! It is a true picture. Yet, many pundits are talking how it is an unfair campaign tactic to show this photo.

Wait, it gets better. A right wing whacko in Cincinnati, kept referring to Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama." The pundits, again, calling it a cheap shot and even John McCain was distancing himself from it. Guess what? IT IS HIS NAME? Now that whacko said all kinds of negative things about Obama. Some I believe crossed the line. However, it is a cheap shot to utter his full name? IT IS HIS NAME! Unbelievable.

I talked to my wife about this today and she, as ardent drinker of the Obama Kool-Aid, thought it was a cheap shot, too. This kind of devout and unscrutinizing following, to the point of painting anyone who uses truth to shape the minds of voters, is in my opinion, the stuff of which antichrists are made.

Do I think that people shouldn't vote for him because of all this? Of course I don't think that; I may vote for him myself. If he is the antichrist, it doesn't matter who you vote for because he is coming into power regardless. If he isn't, he just may be a good president. If you do vote for him, just remember not to drink the Kool-Aid.

ENTERTAINMENT - American Idol is in full swing. I haven't watched it as closely as I have in the past, but I am aware of some controversy. There are a few contestants who have had record deals in the past. Many people think that isn't fair to the "diamonds in the rough" out there who haven't had that kind of advantage. Others don't care. Color me in the middle.

My biggest concern is that record companies can use American Idol as a publicity tool for their clients. It is a rule that a contestant can't have a CURRENT record deal, but that can easily be side-stepped. For instance, you can have a contract with someone who can have contracts with record labels - that kind of thing. I think it is best for the integrity of the show to just avoid this type of thing altogehter. It may come back to bite. That being stated, I think people should vote for whoever they like, former professionals or not. I don't vote, myself, because I think voting is kind of high school. But, that is just me.

WORK - Not much to report, really. No drama. That's good, because I have already written a book today.

SPIRIT - I have been thinking a lot about the concept of forgiveness these days. It has been said that unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the target of your anguish to die from it. I believe that is true. I see no benefit for unforgiveness, none. Unforgiveness is merely a form of justified hatred. I think there is too much of that in the world, already, without rationalizing why I have a right to hate. It is like having a right to cancer. I willingly give up that right.

FAMILY - The family chores are piling up. My good sister (the one that helps me out the most with my other, disabled family members) is off on an extended trip. She has been gone since mid January and will not be back until sometime in April. I think it is great that she can take these trips, but somehow it seems that I am paying for them.

LOVE - Lately, my wife has been catching a lot of flack from Psychosomatic Wit readers. It is my fault, though, because turmoil inspires my rantings more than peace. However, she isn't getting a fair deal. Everything I write about our marriage is true, but it takes two to succeed in marriage. It also takes two to fail. I am not perfect and I want to go on the record to say that if I had taken a different approach to some issues, things probably would have worked out better. That is what I have been trying to do. Soon, I will relay a story about her that will give her some props. Stay tuned.

ANXIETY - I am trying out the pet peeve aspect of this device today. It doesn't cause me anguish, but I am sickened by the term "doctor" being shoved in my face by every Tom, Dick, or Harriet that happens to earn a Ph.D. in some area. I'm sorry, but unless you can take out my appendix, you aren't a doctor. You are just some schmoe who has a Ph.D., either earned or given. Get off of the title. It is self-serving and unbecoming.

For example, if I hear "Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr" one more time, I am going to throw up. King was a great and brave man. However, it was faith and his conviction unto action that made him great, not his theology degree. From all accounts, King was a humble man. I would doubt that he encouraged others to address him as such. Perhaps he did, I don't know. I do know that if/when I get my Ph.D., I will not tolerate being addressed this way. Or, I may just tell the person to stick out his tongue and say "Ahh". Don't worry, I won't go as far as to tell him to turn his head and cough.

SPORTS - My beloved alma mater, Indiana University has finally got rid of their cheating coach. Although Bob Knight is avoiding any conversation about it, he is a long-shot in returning to the program. I do have a list of coaches that may fit the bill, though:

CAUTION - THIS SECTION CONTAINS COLLEGE BASKETBALL-SPEAK. If you aren't versed in college basketball, you may not get it.

In no particular order:

Bruce Pearl - I don't know if he would leave the Univerisity of Tennessee, but he really liked coaching in Indiana (USI). He even wanted the Evansville job when Jim Crews left, but UE went with Steve Merfeld instead (the idiots).

Steve Alford - He didn't have a great reputation at Iowa, but hey, that's Iowa - a wrestling school. He had a respectable record there, and was outstanding at Manchester and SWMS previously. It would be difficult, however, for him to leave after a year in Albuerque, I suspect. He did want the IU job when they gave it to Sampson (the idiots).

Brad Brownell - an in state guy and a good compromise between a Knight guy and an outsider.

Chris Lowery - He has done a fantastic job at Southern Illinois and learned under Bruce Weber at Illinois and SIU. Plus, he is an Indiana boy.

Dan Dakich, the present interim coach - They brought him in for a reason in November. He was okay at Bowling Green, but ran Knight's teams before leaving for BG. He is a player's coach with a touch of Knight's discipline.

HOME - My wife and I have been talking about the possibility of going back to Jamaica for our second anniversary this fall. This October, it will be two years since my wife and I exchanged vows next to the beach in paradise. Like the swallows to Capistrano, we are driven to return there - to the scene of the crime, if you will. Of course, it is longshot because of finances.

I, personally, think it would benefit our marriage so much that it would be worth it if was, at all, possible. It is my belief that it would give us a renewing in such a way that we could start all over building our marriage from the ground up. We both had some conflicting thoughts about marriage then. We both thought that it could be the normal "cold feet". We found out later that it wasn't. A trip back to Jamaica to "do it right" so to speak, seems magical. Yet, it is such a long shot (sigh).