The Other Side

I guess I am giving my marriage a bad name. I tend to write about the spats and the negative stuff because it evidently is more interesting. Those posts and the ones immediately following have the most hits on my blog. Let's face it, marital soap opera stuff sells copy.

However, Jerry from The WriteJerry has made recent comments that made me think that I am misrepresenting it. Jerry makes great comments and he is very knowledgeable about marriage and relationships so I take all his comments very seriously. At any rate, I thought I would give you a snapshot that I normally don't give.

Two nights ago, the wife and I were watching television. At about 9:00 pm, I left to check on my mother (she is disabled so I check on her nightly making sure she has taken her medicine and is good to go to bed). I get back about 20 minutes later and find this note on top of things that I need for bed that she got out for me: "In case I am asleep when you get back, I want you to know that I love you very much. Love (the wife)"

The next morning (yesterday), my wife found on the bathroom mirror when she got up (I was out jogging with the dog): "I love you very much, too! Your husband"

(I WAS INTERRUPTED BY THE MAIL CLERK RIGHT HERE - read on this interruption is pertinent)*

Last night, when my wife got home from class (she works all day and takes nursing classes some evenings), I met her at the door with a cup of her favorite tea. As she unwound on the couch enjoying her tea, I gave her a back rub and a foot massage.

*To top it off, right in the middle of typing this post, the mail clerk came in with a puzzled look on her face. She escorted me down to the mail room where she handed me a big, red ball that had postage on it. It read, "You have bounced right into my heart! - Surprise! I love you (the wife)."

So to all who read my blog and are concerned that my wife and I hate each other and are headed for disaster, it isn't really that bad. ;)


Anonymous said...

Wow - you guys really know how to make nice!

The ball thing is so cute :-)

Your 100% commitment "divorce is not an option" to marriage is refreshing. Everybody should go into marriage and live with that attitude.

And you go to check on your mom -- that is so awesome!

Anonymous said...

Now that was refreshing!!! Just like anything else, being married takes practice. There will be a few missteps here and there, but as long as you both are open to the other's ideas and opinions, slow to anger, quick to forgive - you will make it just fine.

Rollercoasters have ups and downs - makes them more interesting, more fun. Have you ever seen "Parenthood" with Steve Martin? Absolutely terrific study of families, communication, and love.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think what you write is honest. There are always going to be ups and downs to any marriage/relationship.

But as long as love and communication are the key elements (and a little sex thrown in for good measure) everything will be okay.

I hope you don't change the tone of your blog. It's so refreshing to read a man's point of view about marriage, relationships and the such. It's not often men are verbal about these things so it's important you continue just as you are.

Finally, and no disrespect to anyone else who has commented on that post, but cut this guy some slack. It's called wit because it's funny. I don't think there was anything like a hidden message of pain in the post. It was funny. Period.

Anonymous said...

I agree with javajabber...don't stop writing as it is rather unusual (an insightful) to get an open view into the man's perspective on relationships.

Cheers! I'm really glad that you both take the time to do such sweet things for each other.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I ever commented when you talked about you and your wife's spats. I didn't know what to say, but I'm glad I finally got to hear a happy story. It kind of sounded like you two weren't happy. I'm glad that my conclusion is wrong. :)

Bon & Mal Mott said...

Haven't read the spats entries; having been through enough and to spare, it's just ... been there, done that, y'know?
It is good to hear that you are discovering that there is another side.

Bonnie and Walt

Anonymous said...

Jerry: Thanks for the encouragement. I am glad I decided to let folks in on the "other side" of my marriage.

Sayre: It has been a while since I saw "Parenthood". Maybe I will rent it soon since I probably will see it from a different perspective now.

JavaJabber: It is nice to know that someone enjoys my posts. Sometimes I wonder if people read and respond out of obligation, "Well he gave feedback on MY blog, so I better throw him a bone." :)

Tai: See above. I should write about the good stuff a little more - but not too much since it really isn't all that entertaining. It is entertaining a little now to you guys because it is novel for me to write a post like that.

Charles: No we aren't unhappy. Happiness is over-rated anyway. I think ultimate satisfaction in a relationship is the comfort of absolute commitment. Now I know that my suspicions were correct about what the readers of this blog perceived my marriage.

Bonnie and Walt: Actually, you have given me sound advice concerning my spats.

Nikki said...

Jeff, I think you write about the spats because they weigh heavily on your mind and they bother you, as the bother us all.

It's okay..we don't think you two are going to hell in a hand basket.

I love Charles dearly. I bash him on my blog because...well, because it's funny...but there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that I wouldn't do for this man...except for murder or something like that LOL. He is my soul partner.

It's okay to blog about the spats, the tiffs, the arguements, the blow ups and the blow outs.

I'd have to say it's probably a really good place for you to vent and get some feed back from others.

Love her madly's the best kind.

Chris said...

How ironic is it that as I was reading this entry, my wife had curled up next to me on the sofa and read it along with me? It was the only post she has read all weekend and just happened to read it with me.

You two are probably each other's best friend, right? That's how it works here. And you are right, it's the flare ups that we talk about, because they ARE the exception.

Nicely done.

Have a great weekend!
My Blog

Anonymous said...

How cute. I assumed that some nice stuff happened otherwise you'd post more disaster stories :)