Should Christians Call for the Death Penalty for the Boston Bomber?

Recently, I read and reviewed Unoffendable, by Brant Hansen. Written from a Christian point of view, it deals with anger and, of course, being offended. You can read the review in the previous post. In it, Hansen talks about the MYTH of righteous anger and how it has no place for a follower of Christ.  I wondered in light of the Boston Marathon bombing and the guilty verdict that was reached against Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, how this “righteous anger” principle applies when considering the concept of capital punishment – especially for the Christian.  The trial is in the sentencing phase so I think this is a timely topic. The issue now is whether Tsarnaev should be put to death for his part in this horrible crime. 

When people think of a capital offense, this surely would be a good fit. Tsarnaev and his brother used pressure cooker bombs to destroy the lives of race participants and a crowd of onlookers.  When the smoke cleared, three people lost their lives and 264 people were injured - some very seriously including the loss of limbs.  Yes, it stirred up a great deal of anger from all over the country and the world. Here are some examples of that anger that I picked up in news stories and comments:

“Fight the good fight prosecutors and give this child-murdering Islamic terrorist the death penalty he so richly deserves.”

“Just kill the scum and get it over with Boston”

“So the Boston bomber kill 4 and injured over 200 and we are gonna give him a quick death? If it was up to me I would water board him”

These are natural reactions, aren’t they?  Christians and nonbelievers alike are sickened by such a crime.  However, how does God expect His followers to respond to this, with capital punishment?  Apparently 75% of conservatives and half of Christians say, yes. I would guess that for evangelicals, it is much higher since the Catholic Church is against it.  

God has authorized capital punishment all over the Bible . . . oh wait, or is it just in the Old Testament?  That is troubling, isn’t it?  Christians don’t like it when nonbelievers throw Old Testament laws in their face.  Old Testament laws bring up death penalty for any number of things including prostitution, and being a rebellious son.  If we are going to let the Old Testament be our guide for our capital punishment views, how can we ignore other Old Testament rules and punishments?

Christians like to look at the New Testament instead because it is about Grace.  Christ fulfilled all the rigidity of Old Testament rules and laws and if we hitch a wagon to his star, then we can rest in that Grace.  So shouldn’t we also extend that grace to others?  Should not that be our model? Does the new Testament support the idea of capital punishment?

The simple answer is no. Christians like to point at a passage in Romans that tells us to be willingly subjected to government authority. The other passage is one in Acts where the apostle, Paul, subjects himself to government authority even if it means his death.  Nowhere did it say that capital punishment is right and just under grace.  If Christians use this verse to justify their clanging for capital punishment, then they also have to admit that slavery is justified also because it is a comparable element under the law.  Just because Roman law had the authority to put prisoners to death does not mean that the practice was endorsed by God. Only the authority of the government was endorsed.

Getting back to Unoffendable, Hansen doesn’t discuss capital punishment at all but here is what he did say:

“(Vengeance is) His, and it makes senses, too, that we’re not allowed vengeance. Here is one reason why: We stand as guilty as whoever is the target of our anger.  But God? He doesn’t. . . . Whatever anyone has done to me, or to anyone else, I stand just as guilty. People have lied to me, but I’ve lied too, People have been unfaithful to me, but I’ve been unfaithful too, People have hurt me , and I’ve hurt them. I get angry toward murderers, and then here comes Jesus, telling me if I’ve ever hated someone - and I have  I am the murderer’s moral equal.”

Does this concept not ring familiar?  In John, chapter 8, the Pharisees and Scribes brought a woman to Jesus. She was caught red handed in the act of adultery.  The law was clear.  This woman was to be stoned.  Jesus told them that whoever was without sin should cast the first stone at the woman.  The Temple officials departed.  Since all of the accusers left (because they were not clean themselves), Jesus pardoned her.  Keep in mind, Jesus was the ONLY one that had the authority to cast that first stone.  He chose to extend grace, instead.

How then can Christians be for capital punishment?  Where’s the grace?  I am not saying that horrible offenses shouldn’t be addressed.  There are many reasons that, as a society, we cannot allow the offenders to walk freely on the street.  However, doesn’t the death penalty take that concept too far?  Apparently, Jesus thought so.

Jessica Kensky and Patrick Downes were recently married. They each lost a leg during the Boston Marathon bombing.  They made this statement regarding a potential death sentence for Tsarnaev, “We must overcome the impulse for vengeance.”

Also Jennifer Lemmerman, the sister of an M.I.T. police officer who was killed by Tsarnaev, said she thought that the death penalty would bring neither peace nor justice. She wrote on her Facebook page, “Whenever someone speaks out against the death penalty, they are challenged to imagine how they would feel if someone they love were killed. I’ve been given that horrible perspective and I can say that my position has only strengthened,’’

I don’t know if Kensky, Downes, or Lemmerman are Christians, but they sound more like what I would envision someone being influenced by Jesus Christ, rather than those with torches and pitch forks that tend to shout some modern day version of, “Crucify Him!”

Can We Be Unoffendable?

If you just look at the title of Brant Hansen's Unoffendable- How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better, it appears to be another self help book designed to teach the reader how to develop a tough skin.  That assumption couldn't be further from the truth.

The book is written from a Christian point of view, but even skeptics will be able to get something out of this book and enjoy it in the process.  Hansen isn't preachy or teachy. He doesn't even come off as an expert on the subject.  In fact, each page is laced with humility which is very appropriate for the subject matter because through the pages, we discover how important humility is in being unoffendable.

The author exposes “righteous anger” for what it is, problematic and even an illusion.

I used to think it was incumbent upon a Christian to take offense. I now think we should be the most refreshingly unoffendable people on a planet that seems to spin on an axis of offense.

Forfeiting our right to anger makes us deny ourselves, and makes us others-centered. When we start living this way, it changes everything.

Hansen chides those that want to cherry-pick scriptures justifying their anger and has a firm answer to them, but of course he does it without taking offense.

The unoffendable message is given to the reader packed with humorous and heart touching stories told in Hansen’s quirky, but charming way.  He draws on Christian authors and artists and isn’t shy about picking on evangelical culture, as much as he does himself.

I have to admit that I was skeptical about the book going into it.  Sure, I bought into the premise  - which perhaps puts me a step ahead of the crusaders in our midst, but I wasn’t sure about the pragmatic quality of the thesis.  In other words, while I agree anger and offense aren’t good ideas on many levels, there doesn’t seem to be a choice in the matter for most of us.  I thought of it as a traveler going down the road looking for Unoffendable City.  If he stops at a local filling station to ask for directions, he would probably get the unhelpful response, “Sorry, buddy, but you just can’t get there from here.”

Hansen agrees with me AND also disagrees:

 And while I thought the ideal of choosing to be “unoffendable” was ludicrous, I’ve tried it.    And I'm not perfect at it, but I’m much, much better than I used to be. I just let stuff go.  I go into situations thinking, I’m not going to be offended.  No matter what.

What I found out as I approached the end of the book was that Brant Hansen is right.  I was not as prone to be offended in my daily life as I was before reading.  Sure, I had times where the gut reaction of offense wanted to surface, but from reading the book being unoffendable wasn't quite as difficult as it was before and will probably get even easier day by day unless I turn loose of the concept.  I do not plan to do that because I prefer peace in my life rather than strife.

I whole-heartedly recommend Unoffendable by Brant Hansen. Although it helped me a great deal, it doesn’t come off as a self-help book.  It is more like a memoir or an amusing conversation with an interesting friend at a coffee shop. It was so enjoyable that I was always ready for another cup.

Thomas Bryant Answers the Call from the Hall

As a follow up to my previous post, Will Thomas Bryant Help Crean Keep His Job at IU, 5-star prep standout Thomas Bryant is officially taking his talents to Bloomington.  Coaches, fans and most of the team are celebrating.  However, those players
on the bottom of the totem poll are probably biting their lips about now.

Do you love me THIS much, Coach Crean?

Will Thomas Bryant Help Crean Keep His Job at IU?

Perhaps the fate of Tom Crean at Indiana University rests in the hands of a 17 year-old man-child.  Of course, I am talking about the program's latest crush, Thomas Bryant.

Bryant is a 6-10, 240 pound center out of Huntington Prep, Huntington WV.  He is a four-star prospect rated 27th in this coming recruiting class.

It looks like it is a two-horse race between Syracuse and the Stripes to obtain Bryant’s services.  Two things that make me think that he is leaning toward Syracuse is that A. He still talks about them despite the fact that they haven't contacted him in a couple of months; and B. this comment that he made to Inside the Hall, about his Hoosier recruitment included, “They send me a ton of damn letters,” In addition, the Crystal Ball from 247 Sports also has the Orange edging out IU for Bryant's services.

With all the axes falling on coaches around the country, Crean's job security is still ambiguous at best. IU AD Fred Glass seemingly gave Crean an endorsement to remain the coach of the Hoosiers, but pay attention to what he actually said to the Indianapolis Star last week (bold emphasis mine):

"My goals for this program are to perennially contend for and to win multiple Big Ten championships, regularly go deep in the NCAA tournament and win our next national championship - be elite, if you will. As a lifelong Hoosier and IU basketball fan, alumnus and current AD, nobody wants that more than me.

"Coach Crean's status should be based on his ability to achieve those goals going forward, not what he has or hasn't done in the past. Because I believe in the team he has assembled and is assembling, his leadership of it and their ability to start achieving our program goals, I continue to support Tom Crean as our coach."

This statement by Glass looks carefully crafted.  When he claims that he “continues,” that implies “at the time of the statement.”  He didn’t say, “I will continue . . .,” nor did he give a time frame or include the words "next season" in that statement,  It seems that Crean’s ability to “achieve those goals going forward” and the team he “IS assembling” necessarily involves Bryant, or at least a similarly qualified big man.  If not, IU is destined to have another undersized, under-performing team.  

Bryant is poised to make his decision by next week. It just may be that if Crean wants to keep his job at IU, he needs to do more then send Bryant “a ton of damn letters.”  If Crean survives the Bryant recruitment without signing a quality big, then the next chapter of this saga may take place the first week of July, when the coach would be paid $4.5M less than if he was terminated today.

Indiana University Basketball is a Passion Play: The Fate of Tom Crean

This time of year is filled with passion. The NCAA tournament brings it all out.  Underdogs and big dogs show up to flash their wares to fans in arenas and to the millions at home that are surfing the four channels carrying the games.  Like every good passion during Lenten season, there must be a crucifixion.  Tom Crean, Indiana's beleaguered coach, is this year's sacrifice.

I like Tom Crean.  He seems to be nice guy.  He cares about his players.  He brought IU back from the disaster that was the Kelvin Sampson fiasco. He was the Moses that brought the program out of the bondage of  NCAA sanctions and a pillaged roster to the edge of promised land of basketball prominence.  But just like Moses, Crean is not to take them across that river.  That position is reserved to IU's next Joshua - whoever that turns out to be.

IU fans are rabid.  That is good and bad.  They care about their school and particularly the basketball team.  No one would ever debate that.  However, their rabidity can sometimes be unjust.  Crean isn't the villain many of them would have you believe.  He took a team that was full of walk ons and eventually turned it into the number one team in the country. He did the program a great service.  He should be thanked, given a cake, and be told that he is always welcomed back in Bloomington . . . as a guest.

If Coach Crean has been that effective with the program, why should he be shown the door?  It is a fair question.  Every good thing that he did for the program was a double edged sword.  Sure, he had a number one team with two NBA lottery picks.  BUT, he couldn't make it passed the Sweet Sixteen with two NBA lottery picks on his team - and an impressive supporting cast.  Syracuse beat the Hoosiers with a stifling zone in that sweet sixteen game. Red flag courtesy of the Orange.  Okay, that happens.  However, the very next season Syracuse beats them again. Coach Crean didn't change or adapt to win the game. He tried to beat Syracuse with the same failed game plan that bounced them out of the tournament the year before. That was another red flag.

From that point on, IU sank into mediocrity.  They lost important players either because they were ran off, left for the NBA, or transferred on their own,  They also had players get into legal trouble. One was even hurt in an incident that should never have happened.  As the team traveled through the shards of a damaged program, the coaching suffered.  The team had atrocious defense and seemed to lack discipline. They even appeared to lack respect for their coach.  After a strong start to the season, they slid finishing 5-10 with those five victories being over sub par teams. Still, they backed into the NCAA tournament because apparently the selection committee isn't  allowed to use the calender when determining who is allowed to get in.

Still Tom Crean will not be fired.  I think he will walk away of his own accord.  The IU job comes with a lot of pressure. Coaching in the shadow of those five National Champion banners can be daunting.  Although Crean seems to handle pressure okay, himself, it seems that his family has felt the weight as well.  Crean describes his wife as having anguish when it comes to Tom's and their son, Riley's games.  Riley is a player for a local high school.  I guess that is illustrated with the "Tom Crean Sucks!" cries at Riley's games when young Crean takes the floor. Tom, the Christian family man, probably is through with subjecting his family to that kind of atmosphere while trying to win back a fan base that used up all their patience the first few years of Crean's tenure. He also probably realizes that a civil, dignified departure is a lot better than sacked which would probably be coming sooner rather than later.  I believe he will negotiate a decent severance package and move to a school where basketball is just another sport.

Don't be too sad for Coach Crean.  He will be given a chance to coach at a decent school and he will arrive at his new digs with millions in the bank.  It is unfortunate that he couldn't make it in the basketball capital of the world.  However, coaching jobs are usually fleeting.  It comes with the territory.  It is a rare program that has a coach for the long haul.  Even then, it sometimes ends badly. Hoosier Nation certainly knows about that.

Maybe There Is Hope For Us All

Something this week has kind of given me a renewed hope that there is still good in humanity.  I have to thank my friend Emily Suess for this.  Emily and I have been friends forever.  We were catching up on our lives when I told her about my sister, Cheryl.  She was touched.

A couple of days before Christmas, my sister had a stroke. It was her second one.  It was a perfect cap of one lousy year - a year that included the passing of our mother. This stroke has really been something else.  It took most of her eye sight and caused a great deal of confusion.  I won't get into too much of the details, but you will have access to get some more later in this post.  Just know that she has been placed away from the family.  If her condition wasn't scary enough, she has to do it without as much family presence.  She is alone, probably scared, confused and undoubtedly depressed.

Emily was so touched that it motivated her to action.  As fate would have it, this week happens to be Random Acts of Kindness Week. She started a campaign to get people to participate in sending her cards, little gifts, and words of encouragement.  She wanted Cheryl to know that despite her current situation, she has worth and she has a lot of friends supporting her - even if she has never met a lot of them.

I am dedicating this post to my sister, but also to Emily who has shown me that people still care about each other in the age of smart phones and selfies.  Please read Emily's post and do what you can to help out, if this story touches you, too.  Even if it is just to pass on the story to your friends and followers, every little bit helps to put a smile on my sister's face.

Read all about it:  THIS YEAR SEND A VALENTINE TO A STRANGER

An Unlikely Meeting

The coffee shop was mainly empty when the stranger entered. Most patrons had gone home to be with their families and the holiday was winding down. As the stranger looked around, he recognized Tom Trindle paying his check. On a stool three feet away from him, Harry Lemke was speaking too loudly  for the atmosphere of the small diner in the business end of his phone, but no one seemed to mind.

Tom walked passed Harry and the stranger without even a glance up and made his way out the door. The stranger made his way to a booth in the back. There he sat across the table from another man still in a Santa suit, sipping hot chocolate and eating a blueberry muffin.

Harry, still on the phone was oblivious to the two characters seated at the booth, but Stella the waitress was not. She had already waited on Santa and found him friendly enough to earn the bells on his hat. She didn’t know what to make of the strange man now seated with him dressed in a robe and sandals – odd enough in principle but particularly so this time of year. She took him a glass of water. The stranger smiled at her and offered his thanks as he called her by name. Stella slightly taken back by the fact that this visitor knew her name inquired, “Who are you supposed to be, Jesus?”

The stranger replied, “I am.”

Stella mustered an uncomfortable smile as she made her way back to the counter for she knew that the stranger required nothing more than the water and he didn’t look like he could pay for more than the price of "free" anyway.

“I always wanted to meet you,” Santa said. “You are the reason I’m here.”

“Some say it is so for godly reasons; others say ungodly,” replied Jesus.

Santa spoke up, “I assure you sir, I have only the most honorable of intentions. I make all the boys and girls know that the night before Christmas is the most special time of the year. I picked your day to show generosity and love to all people.”

“Do you not think that you have replaced me in many ways in the lives of the children and their parents?” asked the bearded man.

Santa looked down sheepishly and said,“I cannot control the minds of the people. I can only be what it is that I am.”

Jesus smiled, “You are my seed that is planted in the children’s hearts. The crops that grow from you will only be realized when the children are older – IF they are watered and nurtured.”

Santa exhaled in great relief. “I am glad that you see it that way. I do not want any glory for myself. I only want to devote my being to loving and giving. We are a lot alike in that way, do you not think, Teacher?”

Jesus replied, “As there are attributes we have in common, there is one major difference between us that can never be bridged no matter how much faith the people have.”

Santa smiled sweetly, “I know, Master. You do not need to say any more.”

At that instant, Stella looked up to see an empty booth. She rushed over to see if on this Christmas evening, she would actually get stiffed for the $2.25 owed to her by Santa. She discovered on the table a five-dollar bill and a profound sense of peace.

Love, The Concept (CFTA)

In the observance of Psychosomatic Wit Month of Love, I give you the first Love Post

CLASSIC FROM THE ARCHIVES

        

The word "love" is thrown around a lot without much consideration. Wise are those who profess that they have never been in love.They aren't wise because they chose not to be in love - for it is not of their choosing. They are wise because love is such a powerful and enigmatic thing that they don't want to throw the word around if they are unsure.

Infatuations and crushes are not even in the same caliber with true love. However, they are often mistaken for love by the naive. People get a funny feeling in their heart (or more accurately, stomach) and BOOM they pronounce it love. Hardly.

Love is permanent and it is painful. Love attaches itself to you as though you have discovered another part of your body that was previously hidden from your perception. It operates in every system of your body and you soon discover that it is necessary for survival - even when it is injured.

Love is eternal. You cannot fall OUT of love with anyone. That is like saying, "I use to have a heart, but now I do not." If you think you used to be in love but now you are not, you probably are mistaken. Perhaps. it was never love but something else. 

How do you know if you are in love? The feeling (and I use that term way to loosely for it is much more that), when examined, is patient. It will wait forever for the fruition of the relationship for it sees no other choice. There are no ultimatums in real love. It also keeps no record of offenses and never holds the offender permanently accountable. It is a ONE-WAY street. It only flows away from you. If love flows to you it is only because it comes from another's one-way street.

Love motivates toward a relationship. A relationship is steadfast work. Therefore, love motivates work. If you are lazy at your relationship, you probably aren't in love with anyone. Love is inconvenient but is worth all the problems.

Finally, love separates us from the world in which we are confined. It is the only thing that can remove us from this awful place we live and allows us to dwell in a higher plane of existence.

These things are components of real love and they ALL must be present for it to be considered love. One or two of these attributes are not enough.  

Love is only fashioned by the divine.

Something Wrong With Facebook

It has to be talked about. It is taking over our lives!  

What's wrong with Facebook?  How much time do you have?  There are a lot of things that I could talk about.  A lot of people gripe about its internet security issues. I, myself, refuse to download the Facebook message app to my phone because of all the crazy access it wants.

Then there is the whole changing culture thing that it shares with Twitter.  We are so ADD as a species now that if we can't say something in 140 characters  most people won't even mess with us.  I have discussed with friends how that mentality has put a damper on the whole blogging culture.

HEY!!  I am not done yet!!  Bear with me!! I will try to be brief!

No, today I will talk about the whole insipid commands for us to "like something or share something or else" nonsense that we are inundated with.  What is that all about?  " 'Like' this if you are against animal cruelty."  " 'Share' this if you love your mom."  Really?  I can't love my mom or detest animal cruelty if I don't play your game?  I am halfway scared to find someone picketing my house!

It is like being caught up in a Seinfeld episode.  Remember when Kramer didn't want to wear the ribbon on the AIDS walk?

WALKER #1: Hey, where's your ribbon?
KRAMER: Oh, I don't wear the ribbon.
WALKER #2: Oh, you don't wear the ribbon? Aren't you against AIDS?
KRAMER: Yeah, I'm against AIDS. I mean, I'm walking, aren't I? I just don't wear the ribbon.
WALKER #3: Who do you think you are?
WALKER #1: Put the ribbon on!
WALKER #2: Hey, Cedric! Bob! This guy won't wear a ribbon!
BOB: Who? Who does not want to wear the ribbon?

It's madness, I tell ya!  But that isn't all of it?  You also have to throw in the personal element.  Your friends lose their minds if you don't "like" or comment on something they put up. "What's wrong, you don't like my cat?" 

I would be tempted to reply, "Yeah, a helluva lot more that I like you right now.  Your cat doesn't have inane expectations of me and define our relationship

with them."

Facebook behavior is so predictable, too.  I can guess about 40% of you are thinking, "If you don't like Facebook, then you don't have to be on it!"  No, I don't  have to, but then how would I know how many people will end up liking this blog post?

God's Will vs Free Will: Epilogue

Part IV and Final Chapter of the Process of Prayer

I must say that I am a little relieved that this is the last in the series about God and Prayer.  I have learned that this has been more for me than anyone reading it.  It has gotten pretty personal and like the song from Anna Nalik called Breathe puts it:

 And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

I wouldn't write it for everyone to see if I didn't have some kind of hope that at least one person can get something out of it.  I may never know.

At the end of my last post, I was kind of at a spiritual crossroads.  To refresh your memory, or catch up, you can find it here:  Part III of the Series

No one wanted to walk away from God more than I did.  My position was that I put God and His existence to the test and He failed miserably.  If I can take that and write Him off in "Ostrich Paradigm" fashion, I can still make the best of this life.

No more would I have to yield my life to a myth's idea of morality.  There was a freedom there that I could sniff out even through the heavy stench of grief.  I was on my last legs before; now the God-myth just took my legs out from me.  Well, this was going to be the last time!

However, something funny happened on the way to the Evolution lecture. God was still there. I can't really explain it.  It wasn't this cool, "I'm with you even in your sorrow" kind of presence.  It was just this ubiquity that I couldn't escape but wanted to quite badly. So now, not only could I not break away from the God myth, I had to face the reasons why God, Himself, didn't care enough to honor my prayers. I wasn't angry with Him, just hurt and confused. The account of that struggle is for another time, if ever. 

It took me weeks to allow myself to think about it very much.  Sure, I vented to a few people I thought might understand . . . I think I was wrong about that, by the way.  I finally just had to concede that I don't know why things happened the way they did, I just have to accept that it did and that either way, God isn't going anywhere.

In the light of all this, what is prayer all about, then?  It is how we commune with God.  I think it is that simple. 

It isn't about petition or a list for Santa, although there isn't anything necessarily wrong with that.  It isn't about flowery speech.  It isn't about showing others that you are well versed in God-speak. It IS about connecting, venting, having fellowship, and even having conversations with the ONE that created the Universe but still has time enough for you.  If you ask God for specific things, it may not turn out the way you want. Things have to satisfy His overall will.  Yes, I recognize that this looks like a cop out, but it is what it is no matter the appearance.

I do now believe that God answered my prayer. No, He didn't answer it the way I wanted Him to, of course. If I am to be honest, in a practical sense I was praying for immortality for my mother.  That wasn't going to happen no matter how much favor I might have had with Him. What He did do was give me more time with her than perhaps I would have had under normal circumstances.  He gave me additional weeks of stroking her hair, kissing her cheeks and telling her how much I loved her.  He even gave me a few "I love you's" from her to me. It still hurts too much to be grateful, however.

It is tough to make sense of this "God's will" thing and the intersection of His love for us and His desire to give us what we pray for. To understand God's will, it might be easier to first look at the story of us backwards.

". . . and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4

At this point, we must allow ourselves to redefine the word "almighty".  God is not almighty in the sense most of us think He should be.  Blasphemy, yes?  That is okay; I also voted for Obama so I am used to being on the outs with my Christian brothers and sisters.  But to clarify, His essence is almighty but not necessarily His practice.  He is bound by His nature. God IS His nature (see: forms, Plato).  He is truth.  He is just.  He is righteous. He is love. In other words, to visit an old, well known logic puzzle: Can God make a stone so heavy that even He cannot lift it?  The answer is, of course, yes.  If God says that He can't lift it, then He can't.  He would be bound by His own word that he can't lift it.

One thing that God is bound by is his gift of free will to man.  You don't have to be a believer to see that the will of man has really messed things up on this planet.  So, you have man's free will vs God's will in our day to day lives but we know it all has to end up like the passage from Revelation that I listed above.

The best way I have ever been able to understand this concept is an example I heard from a teacher years ago.  He used the example of a chess master.  I can remember when Bobby Fisher or Boris Spassky would put on these chess exhibitions by playing hundreds of people at the same time.  Each contender would make a move and the master would make a counter move and then step to the next table, make that move, and then to then next one, the next one, etc., until he made it all the way around and was ready to make his second move against player number one and so on.  At the end of the day, the master always won every game.  Each player had the free will to move wherever he wanted each time.  However, at the end of it all the master satisfied his own will by incorporating the wills of all he played in the process.

God allows us to exercise our free will, but in the end, Revelation 21:4 will be satisfied. Like any good father, he does what he can to please us, but not to the point where He defeats what must be.  This process can be very painful for us as it has been for me and that has to be okay.

And after all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

--Mac Powell, Third Day - Mountain of God

Of course, this is how I understand this concept right now.  I can't pretend to understand God's true nature and how He really operates as a matter of undisputed fact.  I am just a frail human being that longs to understand things that are always going to be above my pay level.  For any definite wisdom that I have in understanding these things, I must borrow from another Greek philosopher, Socrates.  My wisdom rests on knowing that I really don't know anything.  However, most never make it that far.