Psychosomatic Wit

Birthday Recap

My birthday started off pretty well. Uneventful at work; no one knew it was my birthday.

In the afternoon, I took off work and went to a movie matinee with my wife. We saw Sicko, the Michael Moore documentary. I won't get into it too much in this post, but I do recommend all Americans to see this movie. Even if you aren't American and want to feel superior to America, you should see this film. I may post more about it in the future. The link I have here has some pretty interesting stories about it - worth checking out.

After the movie, we had a nice early dinner at Biaggi's. It was a very pleasant and not at all crowded at that time of the day. A friend at work, gave us a gift card as a wedding gift, so we used that. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to eat there until something financially goes our way.

Afterwards, we went back to the house where we were hosting my mother and my sister for a little birthday get together. The trouble is my wife got a migraine and went to bed before they got there. So, we didn't do the cake thing, since my wife was the one who got it. We did LOOK at the cake, though. It was from a Donut Bank Bakery, which is a local fixture. They make the best cakes. Because I am a Cincinnati Bengal fan, the cake was white with orange and black docorations and lettering.

The message on the cake was, "Happy Who-Dey, Jeff". I'll explain: There is an expression around Cincinnati that boosts the Bengals. Of course, it is "Who Dey?!" It is part of a longer chant that goes like this: "Who Dey, Who Dey! Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?!?" I thought it was a little clever for my wife to think of that for the cake.

We ended up cutting the cake the next day. Considering how BAD my birthdays have been, it was a pretty good day. Of course, that is a topic for another time.

Thanks for all the well wishes I got in blogland. It is a pity that I didn't get any cash from you, lol, but just the fact that you think of me on my birthday is gift enough. Thanks again, from the bottom of my heart!

Sam I Am

Samuel Clements (a.k.a. Mark Twain) has an often referred to quote of "The news of my death is greatly exaggerated." I thought I would devote this post on that very subject.

Last week I wrote an entry called "Death." It had the most feedback of any single post I ever had. Most of it was how I would be missed if something ever happens to me - which was nice to read. Then I came upon this piece of feedback from TheWriteJerry, "You're kind of freaking me out. Seriously. You've had us worried as it is with posts hinting at troubles at home and troubles inside of you. Now a post about your death. Stop being so vague. Please. Let us help."

At first I was taken aback. I didn't know if he was hinting that I may be hinting about comitting suicide or something or if I was being dramatic about some diagnosis I had recently received.

Then, I thought about what it would take for me to leave feedback like that and I felt, pardon the cheese, cared about. So, I want to say publicly: Thanks Jerry, for caring about me.

Maybe others thought the same thing but didn't want to say anything. I re-read my post and thought it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that this stranger could be hinting at something tragic. I know some know me better than that, but it is foolish to think that all of you do.

For the record, I am not suicidal and I do not have some condition that is pointing to my death - that I know of. I am going to be around for a long time as far as I know.

I am not suicidal because I am nevercompletely hopeless. My Christian faith is grounded by the fact that my purpose here isn't completed until God takes me out of here. I also understand the blessing of suffering. I may whine about it, but I would never end it by ENDING IT. Part of me that hides beneath the melancholia is excited to see how God is going to lead me through it and present the blessing to me. I am not suicidal and am fundementally not spiritually built to carry it out. Let's put that concept to rest forever.

If I ever become gravely ill, I will post it in a "not so vague manner". A lot of you consider me friends; I respect that relationship too much to play with such a dire matter.

As for the last little tidbit from Jerry's feedback, "Let us help." NOW, you're talking! ;) I figure if I can raise $20,000, it will take care of almost every problem I have. It would get me out of student loan debt and the debt I incurred from the wedding and take the pressure off my suddenly unemployed spouse. So dig deep, friends! Help me just as Jerry requested! Show me the love! lol Today is the day! Why? BECAUSE IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!

NEWS FLASH #7

NEWS - There is still trouble with getting President Bush to come in line with what the American people (and everywhere else for that matter) want in regards to Iraq. What a legacy he is going to have. After starting his presidency akin to a hero, many (some even neutral) consider him one of the worst presidents that ever came down the pike. Pity.

ENTERTAINMENT - I have been catching up on all the America's Next Top Model programs when they run marathon-style on MTV. I know many may wonder how I got into that, look under the "LOVE" aspect of this NEWSFLASH. Anyway, what I have gathered is that Tyra Banks is WAY too full of herself. The contestants go live in a house that is over-saturated with Tyra pictures. Tyra becomes photographer in one part of the series, and every time the contestants get a message from the show, they get "Tyra Mail". Please. I am pretty Tyra'd of the whole self absorbancy thing.

WORK - I recently got my COLA (cost of living adjustment) raise. I needed that, as you know. Now I am gearing up for the next big meeting of my commission which is next week. I am finding that there are a lot of anal cavities in positions of managment in this part of the state recently.

SPIRIT - I had an interesting experience at church yesterday. First of all, the worship part of the service was led by an up and coming band from San Antonio Texas called Abandon. After that, the pastor got up and started his message. It was about being humble before God. He related a story about himself where he recently failed. He then got touched, confessed to God and kind of broke down. After composing himself, he stopped the message and asked Abandon to come back up and play the rest of the service out. It was a very unique experience to see God touch someone like that in front of the whole congregation. Abandon was very cooperative and understanding. The lead singer recognized the presence of the Spirit here when he announced that we are "REALLY having church here today."

FAMILY - There isn't too much to report in this area. Everything seems to be stable at the moment. I am planning to attend my family reunion this weekend (busy week since my birthday is this week, also). I am optimistic that my wife is going with me. She has been sick, though, and I am taking her to the doctor soon.

LOVE - This is the one that purtains to the Tyra Banks quip above. My wife is into the fashion thing as I mentioned before in this blog. She takes a lot of magazines and one of her programs is America's Next Top Model. I have looked throught the magazines and forced myself to get interested in the program because I feel it is important to TRY to do that for the person you love - to show that you have a genuine interest in them and what they like. I think if a person is open-minded, he/she can get interested in anything if they try. I owe my wife the interest I have in Jane Austen novels, for heaven's sake. Unfortunately, my dear wife doesn't reciprocate this 'open-mindedness'. It would be huge for me if she could get interested in my sports teams, western movies, or even Star Trek which I secretly enjoy (not so much of a secret now, apparently). I have mentioned this to her quite a few times, but no dice. However, I will STILL continue to share her interests with her because it is the right thing to do. Besides, maybe someday it just might rub off on her.

ANXIETY - I need to sell my house. This is a recording.

SPORTS - Thank God, football training camps are getting ready to start. My last place baseball team (The Reds) are killing my spirit. I was also asked by a friend to give him some pointers on drilling a major college basketball player for her summer workouts. Drawing on my experience with coaching, I did just that last week. This friend also wants the two of us to coach some sort of team this year. We'll see. In the meantime, I am suppose to help another friend coach youth football. Busy, busy.

HOME - The air conditioning is out at my mother's house. She doesn't mind much, but I worry about her. With my wife not working, it isn't easy to get something major repaired. My sisters and I are working on it, though. I swear, cutting three large lawns a week is taking its toll on me. I am exhausted and I have to cut more today. It is hot and humid. Not cool (pun intended).

That's it for another week. I have a few blogs to catch up on so look for me at your place.

Death

I was thinking about life and death. Including my own death and how it would affect other people. I am not going to spend time on the people who are closest to me. I would assume they would feel some kind of loss, even if it is only because something that they are used to is now missing.

No, I was thinking about those who read this blog, other Internet friends or those whom I marginally knew in high school or college. Those old acquaintances would see my name in the paper and think, "Hmm . . . that's a shame. What's for dinner?" I don't pretend to matter to too many people. It is a sad thought, but it is reality. This isn't self-pity, it is pretty much true for everyone, don't you think?

Now, for those of you who read my blog - you guys probably wouldn't even know that I was gone. One day you may be going through some old email or something or maybe you were reading someone else's blog and a thought comes to mind, "I wonder why Jeff quit writing on here. Oh well . . . what's for dinner?"

However, I am sure that I matter to some folks and that's not too bad. I may not be Mr. Popular on all fronts, but I am also no Eleanor Rigby.

Next time you see the obituaries in your local paper. Give an extra thought for each name you read. Those people's passing is important to someone and people are hurting and missing them. Or, if you get the impression they had no one, an Eleanor Rigby-type, give them a few extra seconds of thought, will you? For they represent ALL of us. Those people are important to the souls of humanity.

"THE PRESENT TRUTH" HAS BEEN UPDATED

Some of you have been checking my other blog so I thought I would let anyone with half an interst know.

Crazy Eights

I was tagged by Laura and some bizarre blog that copied Laura's post to the letter for this. I don't get it, but I guess I don't need to. I sicked Laura on him/her. However, if immitation is indeed the most sincere form of flattery, Laura can be flattered instead of feeling transgressed.

Here are the rules of the Crazy Eights meme:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
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1. I am licensed to teach Government (poli-sci), History, and Psychology in grades 5 - 12).

2. I don't put syrup on my French toast nor do I prepare it in ANY way that makes it sweet. It is an egg food! Do you add sugar to your scrambled eggs for God's sake? If you make it right, it is awesome with a little salt and pepper. If you make it wrong, it will be bland and you are forced to cover it up with stuff like syrup.

3. I still own the first car I ever had. It is a 1970 Dodge Charger. It needs work, but I get asked if I want to sell it at least once a week.

4. I own five vehicles. If you buy my house, I will throw in two (count them) TWO cars.

5. My mother is disabled so I take care of her.

6. I was an adult before I ate a frozen pizza without it being "fixed up" with additional meat, onion, and spices. (Please, I have ALWAYS cooked the thing first).

7. I used to write a weekly column for a professional indoor football (American) league. I thought I was going to get into trouble when I wrote a controversial piece about cheerleaders. However, instead I got complimented for "selling more copy".

8. I am in the middle of writing three novels, two nonfiction pieces, and a children's book. However, I wonder if I will ever finish ANY of them. ;)

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Tags: I am going to do something new. I am going to tag eight blogs that I have never read nor do their authors read me. I just want to see if any of them will find out, do it, or at least comment. It is tougher than it sounds. Most of blogs I happen on either are in a foreign language, set up for a particular purpose (soccer, e.g.), or just for family which I don't want to intrude upon.

1. Bon Jour, PeeWee

2. Being a Biginner

3. Chronicles of a New Man

4. Make Mine Pink

5. Casa Luna

6. Green . . . Like the Color

7. Mayberry Mom

8. I tagged someone else and my browser closed. Now, I can't find it. I did tell her that she was tagged so if I tagged you and you do not see your link here, let me know. You deserve a link after all that.

By the way, I don't recommend doing this for anyone else. It was a pain to find suitable blogs randomly like that.

NEWS FLASH #6

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.

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NEWS - Cindy Sheehan, the perpetual thorn in W's side, has now a new target in Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. She has decided that she MAY run against Pelosi as an independent in order to oust Pelosi. Why? Because Pelosi hasn't done enough to oust Bush. Sheehan started out to be a sympathetic figure, losing her son in Iraq. Now, she is coming off as a nut. I would be tempted to say that she doesn't have a prayer in her new ambition, except she would be running in San Francisco - 'nuff said.

ENTERTAINMENT - As promised, I will spend a little time on the new "Big Brother 8" on CBS. So far, the characters there haven't stuck out, save one. One housemate blew a gasket because of the picture BB put up of her. There is a wall that contains all the pictures. When a housemate gets evicted, the picture turns to black and white (at least that is how it has been done in the past). This girl, Jen, had a complete meltdown about her picture. She thought the shading was bad and it caused her to lose her mind. The other house guests thought she was kidding at first and then they freaked out on her. Stability is important in this game and she is not playing with a full deck. Maybe that will be fun to watch (evil laugh).

WORK - I am gearing up for my big meeting. My commission did me justice and cancelled the meeting because it was scheduled on my birthday (I didn't ask). It is now a week later. That is pretty nice, because I tend to work about 12 hours on meeting nights.

SPIRIT - I have been getting too caught up in my life situations lately. When I think about worrying about my wife not bringing in any money with two mortgages to pay, etc., I feel so hypocritical. I either trust in God, or I don't. No matter what the circumstance, things really shouldn't distract me so much. I mean, I only have 40 or 5o years (barring accidents and fatal disease) left on this planet. I can put up with ANYTHING for 40 years. I think about Jesus and HIS world. He just came to offer Himself up. He didn't claim ANY life for Himself. I can't live without a car or financial stress for a while? What a hypocrite I am.

FAMILY - The Fourth of July cookout at my sister's was a huge success. I didn't think my wife would come, but she did. I attacked her with a bucket of water and a water fight ensued. She LOVED it. That stupid water fight did a lot to make things better between us. Whoda thunkit?

LOVE - The wife and I are getting along better. Of course, she got her way in all her endeavors, why wouldn't we get along? People tend to think that I am treating her too well because of the stuff she pulled (job, leaving town, etc.,), but I disagree. What good would punishing her with the silent treatment or something else as petty? We are where we are. We need to work from that point, not some fictional point people think I will get to after her "punishment".

ANXIETY - No worries. I have passed through that for now. God will provide. I can handle it now and hopefully for the future. My frail humanity will no doubt test me again, however.

SPORTS - My Cincinnati Reds, now that they are out of it and sacked their manager, are playing the best ball of the season. That is always how it happens, though. Now, they will no doubt trade the good players before the trade deadline to "rebuild" for next year. It never stops.

HOME - I am the leftover king. I am the only person in my originating family or my married family that is willing to eat a leftover. Why is that? People are missing out, I think, when practicing their "entitlement" philosophy of fresh food, because some foods are just better later. As Jed Clampett once said, "The one good thing about possum innards are that they are just as good the next day." Amen!

Music Please?

Loz from Sunrays and Saturdays and Charles from Am I Thinking That tagged me for a musical memory meme. It is really quite entertaining. Here are the rules:

1. Name between 5 & 10 songs that have made an impact on your life. I’ll leave it up to you to decide how many you wish to describe.

2. Pass it onto five other people with a link back to your own post and this one as the original.

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1. Delta Dawn by Tanya Tucker. This was the first song I ever played "by ear". My mother bought me an old upright piano when I was seven. After being subjected to my mother's musical taste (country), pecking around brought up this tune - with many more to follow.

KEY LYRIC - none

2. By the Time I Get to Phoenix by Glen Cambell. When I was very young - about three years old, I sang this song to my family at our family reunion in honor of my uncle who just moved his family from Indiana to Phoenix. The reviews were great and some were even touched. I had no idea what the song was really about.

KEY LYRIC - none

3. Almost Paradise by Mike Reno and Ann Wilson. Back in college, I had an on again/off again relationship with Andrea. I mentioned her in my post called "Peace". We were off again one time when I called her up to see if she would be interested in going to my fraternity's "Rose Formal" dance. It is kind of college's version of prom - except you don't rent tuxes. She agreed to go with me and we got together a couple of times preceding the big dance. During those times, we both mentioned that things were pretty good and that Almost Paradise was a song that we both took a liking to. During the dance, the DJ dedicated that song to "Jeff". I whispered to Andrea, "Isn't that funny, another Jeff is connected to that song by someone (there were a number of "Jeffs" in my fraternity). She replied, "I dedicated that to YOU, silly." I was embarrassed but thrilled because I knew at that moment that our relationship was renewed.

KEY LYRIC - "I swear that I can see forever in your eyes."

4. The Beautiful Ones by Prince. Different story, same girl. Later in that stint of our relationship, I was acting silly one day and jumped up on my desk and sang that song to her. You see, Andrea was gorgeous. I always told her that her looks meant trouble for me. So, I jumped up on my desk and belted it out in a most humiliating yet meant to be crazy humorus way. She giggled like a school girl. What makes it stand out in my mind is just a few years ago, I talked to Andrea for the first time since college. Of course, she mentioned my Prince immitation. Some things just won't die.

KEY LYRIC - "The beautiful ones always smash the picture. Always, every time."

5. The Baby by Blake Shelton. Back in 1993, my mother was rushed to Cincinnati to have emergency brain surgery. She ended up having 31 hours of surgery (17 hours the first time, and 11 hours two weeks later). I wasn't sure she was going to make it. She always called me her baby boy. The lyrics of this song even touched me today as I was looking at it. You can see them (and all the songs in this meme) at any of the song title links. Mom has been disabled, but alive ever since that summer of '93. I have been taking care of her and is thankful for every day with her. There is more to what my mom means to me in my posts "Ode to my Mother Pt 1" and "Ode to my Mother Pt 2".

KEY LYRIC - "my heart, it was breakin'; I never got to say goodbye"

6. The Dance by Garth Brooks. I share this pick with Loz, who tagged me. My last girlfriend and I had a long relationship. I thought we were going to be married eventually. Our relationship came to an abrupt end. There was hurt and betrayal and I didn't think I was going to survive it for a while. When hurt takes over like that, you start wishing you never met the person you felt was responsible for that intense pain. However, when I heard and listened to this song, I knew that I was blessed for what I had experienced with her. I don't regret a thing.

KEY LYRIC - "I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance."

7. You are My King (Amazing Love) by the Newsboys. One day when driving home from work, I was feeling rather sorry for myself. The girl from The Dance story above had recently broke up with me, I had slammed my hand in a door, and I just didn't know what I was going to do with myself. Then, this song came on the radio and kind of put things into perspective for me. I still think of that when I need to - which has been quite often lately.

KEY LYRIC - "Amazing Love, how could it be that you, my King, would die for me?"

8. Live the Life by Michael W. Smith. This song is near to my heart as a Christian. So many Christians come off judgemental and shallow, legalistic Republicans because all good Christians are Republicans, right? This song helps remind us (Christians) what were supposed to be doing and thinking about instead of getting caught up in all the crud that makes the world hate us.

KEY LYRIC - "And God knows it's a shame, as we look to pass the flame, we are not the worthy bearers of His name."

Those are it for me. Some of these lyrics are very much worth checking out. You can see them all in my appendix blog.

Now for the tags: I would be interested to see the list from the following people: Anna, Laura, Michelle, Jimmy, and Sayre. You know the drill.

Congratulations, Ms. 5000!

Michelle from Crow's Feet just happened to be the ONE. Fortunately for me, she has an interesting blog for me to promote for the occasion.

Crow's Feet is particularly fascinating, because Michelle has a way of writing about spiritual, even occultic things. Yet, she is open-minded and finds herself compatible with most people's beliefs. I am learning a lot from her.

Michelle also has an interesting background. She describes herself, "Born in Africa of 'mongrel' (varied immigrant) ancestry, now living in another beautiful part of this world called Scotland."

She also has an enlightened and hopeful take on writing. As she puts it, "Everyone writes for their own reasons. To share, to dare, to enlighten or just be noticed, but ultimately writing is about connecting. Because the more we connect to others - the more we learn about ourselves. Writing is a journey, an adventure started with a single step. I'm taking this journey with crow's feet, in more ways than one."

Being my 5000th visitor or not, I endorse the reading of Crow's Feet. Go check it out.

NEWS FLASH #5

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.

___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - Scooter Libby gets his sentence commuted by President Bush. I have been critical of Bush in the past and a lot of folks are coming out bashing him for this. I don't see it that way. I think Libby was the fall guy. He shouldn't have to suffer for just being part of the team that outed the identity of CIA operative Valerie Plame. Might as well help a brother out.

ENTERTAINMENT - A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned how CBS's "Big Brother" was nowhere to be found in news, promotion or anything current on the Internet. I was concerned that this summer vice of mine had fallen by the wayside since it was suppose to start this week. Well, out of nowhere, promotion began and it is set to air this Thursday. Check it out if you can find the time. After all, I may be referring to it from time to time. You want to be "in the know" don't you?

WORK - As mentioned in my last email, my work computer crashed last week. It was very tragic since it contained all the files and information I need to do my job. Blah blah blah about backing things up. It didn't happen for various reasons that I need not get into at this point. There was a storm. The power went off and came back on. Despite having a power strip/surge protector, the C-drive disappeared and lost format. The tech guys checked it out and told me it was a lost cause. I had been looking to get a new computer for work anyway, but not time was of the essence. Technology. . . (keep reading).

SPIRIT - God is good and He has been busy with me. Life at home is not too good right now. I feel overwhelmed by it most of my conscious hours. Then, my work computer blew up and that was it for me. After exhausting every possible way of recovering my hard drive and even having the tech guys here write the death certificate, I in total exasperation, prayed like a child would, "God, things are getting too much for me. Just please fix my computer." The next day when I turned it on (as habit), it fired right up like nothing ever happened to it. I am using it as I type right this very minute. I explained it to the tech guys, and they said it was impossible, except one who reminded me how great God is.

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, "With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." (Matt 19:26)

You want to know what God did for an encore? He fixed my car. No lie.

FAMILY - My sister is hosting a Fourth of July cookout tomorrow. She is one the most awesome and dear people I have ever met. She is the perfect hostess, too. It will be a good respite for me. I wonder if my wife will be willing to go.

LOVE - Things are tough around the house. My wife and I are not understanding each other. She gave up a good, solid job because she doesn't like who she works next to (among other things but that is the main thing). I simply can't understand that. One can't give another such power over one's life that they put one's family in financial distress. She can't understand why I am concerned. Then, in the same moment, asks me how we are going to pay the mortgage this week?

ANXIETY - We simply do not have enough income now, to cover our bills. When my father got ill and died when I was a kid, we struggled financially. I hated worrying about having electricity and eating beans and rice all the time. As a result, I worked hard, received two degrees and landed a fine job. I married a woman with a decent job and we had an acceptable financial status. Now, a monkey wrench is thrown in the works and I am stressed out all over again. It is hard for me to take. God, please fix my finances. I NEED TO SELL THAT HOUSE!

SPORTS - Barry Bonds, of the San Francisco Giants, will soon have the most prestigious record in sports - the coveted Major League Baseball all time home run record, currently held by Hank Aaron. Bonds is not a nice guy and most everyone believes that steroids is the main reason he will get the record. I once witnessed Bonds disappoint a 7-year-old kid that wanted an autograph at a hotel after a night game. Not very many people around (I just happened to be staying in the hotel with the Giants that night). Bonds turned the boy down and told him he only signs before the games - to look for him the next day. I decided to turn up the next day and look for the Bonds and that boy. The boy was there, but guess who didn't show? Other Giants signed for the fans, but not our golden boy. When Aaron's record falls, baseball will lose some luster.

HOME - I need to pay two mortgages and sell a house. Help a brother out?